Worst Jokes Ever
My wife caught me fucking our daughter. I don't know what she found worse: the fact I was fucking our daughter, or that the clinic gave me the fetus.
666 + 420 + 911 + 21 = ?
Do it in calculator.
Derrick and Clive. They have a song about a Dad with cancer and other extremely offensive subjects in a routine called "The Non-Stop Dancer." It is very funny, but it is made even funnier by Dudley Moore's drunken and stoned laughter through the song.
One of the best routines ever. Look it up on YouTube. They recorded them in the studio, but they are ad-libbing and extremely drunk.
If you need to squint to read this...
You probably need glasses.
There was once a kid named Timmy. His father and mother went to bed one night and didn't hear or see Timmy come with them.
They all get under the covers. Timmy, still unnoticed, looks under the covers and lets out a blood-curdling scream. "MOMMY, WATCH OUT! THERE IS A SNAKE GOING INTO YOUR BIG BLACK HAIRY BUSH!" And he proceeds to say, "DON'T WORRY MOMMY, I'LL GET IT!" And he takes his father's penis in his mouth and chomps down.
Now I want you to think what their breakfast conversation was the next morning.
Kid: I'm hungry.
Dad Bot: Hi hungry, I'm dad.
Teenager: I'm Hitler did nothing wrong.
Dad Bot: Hi Hitler did nothing wrong, I'm dad.
Nazi: Finally!
This joke is short... like your dick!
Hate me all you want, but I rather love bullying in all fairness. I love to watch all the loner kids being abused while simultaneously making a prediction for when which one of them will finally snap and shoot up the school.
How do you get a hippie chick pregnant?
You cum on her feet and let the flies do the rest.
One day I saw my friend in a hospital bed. He told me to call 911. Instead, I called his parents.
Hello, Brudas, my name Badabeeyeabolamazoqanba. I, forty-eight-year man from Somalia. Sorry for bad England. I sold my wife for internet connect, and I am level thirteen in Roblacks. If you want to get batter in Roblacks, contact me at Gmail@borakoobama. Send me your bank account information and password. Than I well give you all the cotton you desire. Sorry for bad spelling. I kindergarden dropout.
You don't need a license to drive a sandwich.
A pedophile is sitting at an empty poker table. An eight-year-old kid asked him if he could sit down. The pedophile says to the child, "Sure, let's play."
Deutsch: Die, die nichts zu sagen haben, reden viel. Die, die was zu sagen haben, hingegen kaum.
I like women how I like my hair dryer: locked in a closet most of the time and only being used to blow me dry.
Why can't a dinosaur clap? Because it's dead.
What is the butt’s favorite computer?
The Tushiba.
What do you call a bullet head?
JFK.
What do you call a pool full of retards?
Vegetable soup.
Me: Hey Jim!
Jim: I'm now a cannibal.
Me: WAIT, JIM! N-