Worst Jokes Ever
A 60-year-old man is walking along a deserted road with a 12-year-old boy. It’s getting dark, and the boy says, “Hey mister, it’s getting dark and I’m scared.”
The man replies, “You’re scared? I’ve got to walk back to town alone!”
What's Asian but has broken up with its girlfriend?
A dumpling.
Your momma's so fat that she should probably be worried about the increased risk of cardiovascular disease.
What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Porsche?
I don't have a Porsche in the garage.
If a pregnant woman is under water, isn't she technically a submarine?
What has 2 legs, 2 arms, and an abusive father?
Aaron.
The Homo Sexual was a direct descendant of the Homo Genital Erectus, which went extinct in 2037 for being easily offended and its unwillingness to breed.
What happened to the eight-year-old boy that needed to go to the bathroom during church?
The priest stopped him on the way there.
When you’re hunting at a forest resort and you shoot a deer, but then you remember that there are no deer at the forest resort.
What did the car say when it crashed? That's wheely unfortunate!
I heard he's doing a revival tour next month. It's called "Stephen Hawking Unplugged."
Me and my friend were hunting ducks. He had a 12 gauge shotgun, and he looked over and I had a .50 caliber machine gun. He said, "You're crazy!" I responded, "Quackers."
What did the first guy say to the second?
Wanna shove a banana up yo ass?
Guess how I'm getting laid tonight?
"I'm stronger than you."
What is monkey's favorite position? Donkey Kong.
What did the basketball say to the Frisbee... "No balls."
Dad: I get to touch animals every day at the zoo.
Kid: Why?
Dad: I clean up animal s*** at the zoo.
How did Harry Potter get down the hill? Walking... J.K. Rowling.
Have I told you the joke about the airplane? Ah, forget it, it probably just went over your head.
I didn’t know if she was anorexic or not, so I tossed her an onion ring to see if she would eat it or use it as a hula hoop.