Worst Jokes Ever
Two cannibals were eating a clown when one looked at the other and asked, "Does this taste funny to you?"
Where do pencils go on holiday?
Pencilvania! (Pennsylvania)
Where did Sally go after the explosion?
Everywhere.
Is it okay to say "nice to meat you" to a vegan?
Which band doesn’t make music?
One Direction.
What were Stephen Hawking's last words?
[Link to YouTube video]
Why take a nap on the toilet?
Because it's a restroom.
If the Grinch was an average white thotty b.... girl: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V6LmcrJq6oo
If the Grinch was an average black girl: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WYzLo8vjSqI&has_verified=1
Q: What do you call a "Wild Man" or "Wild Woman" on the Moon?
A: A Luna-Tic!
What did the dog say to his sister when she stepped on his toe? "Hey, mitosis!"
A blind man walked into a bar, and a table, and a chair.
Why is there air conditioning at a hospital?
To keep the vegetables cool and fresh.
Yum!
What do you call it when Portericans surround your house?
A spicket fence!
Why didn’t Harry Potter use the chamber to teach Dumbledore’s army?
Because at one point poisonous gases were put in it.
My dad hits me :(
What's the difference between a dick and a cannon?
Your dick shots longer.
Recent attempts to defund Special Olympics have organizers scrambling to come up with more corporate sponsorship... targeted companies include:
Kleenex
Depends
Bicycle Helmet manufacturers
Velcro Shoe manufacturers
Steven Hawkings Publishers
What was the guitar teacher arrested for? Stringing a minor.
What’s the difference between a bleeding child and a bleeding chimpanzee?
They're both crazy and now dead.
What do you get when you cross a cow with a fish?
A genetically unstable animal that is impossible and would die instantly upon existing. If it could live, it would be a deformed, parasitic tumor that undulates through people.