Worst Jokes Ever
What’s a cow’s favorite piece of furniture?
The cowch (couch).
As a doctor myself, that nurse was very slow, she tested my patience!
Q: What did the little girl say to her leper daddy?
A: "Oops, I got your nose!"
What is Forrest Gump's password?
1forest1
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He rolled away and his charger unplugged.
My jacket tore a little bit. It's a ripper.
Why can't a little girl fly? She doesn't have the proper motivation.
Fact: If you jump off a 12-story building, you will not like the result.
Every single person on the plane died except for 2. How is that possible?
It said all the single people died; the 2 were a couple. That's how it was possible.
What did the daddy bullet say to his son when he missed the bull and hit something brown and gross?
"That is bull crap!"
"Hi, honey, how do you want buns?"
What time is it when you say "what?"
Time to start over!
What time is it when you can smell smoke inside?
Time to get outside!
Emo t-shirt:
"EXISTENCE IS FUTILE."
My parents said to me, "Whenever you say sorry to someone and they say, 'It's okay,' it's really not."
So I said, "Okay."
pp
pp
pp
pp
You don't usually see strap-hangers carrying newspapers these days.
But one guy with the New York Times is seen getting on a crowded F Train. He notices a single seat not taken. Suspicious, he gets closer and sniffs it out. The seat is discolored but dry. Throwing caution to the winds, he removes a section from the paper and sets it down to buffer the spot from his behind. He sits down, stretches his feet and yells out: "Try sitting on your smartphones, suckers!"
Where do orphans shop? Home Depot.
An orphan died. No one cared, why? Who is supposed to spread the word? His parents.
What did the math acorn say when it grew up?
"Gee-I'm-a-tree."