Worst Jokes Ever
I put the D in Children.
What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta.
What grade does Sherlock hit on girls from?
Elementary, my dear Watson!
There are 3 things wrong with this world.
1. Spelling
2. Maths.
Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house? Don't worry, he hasn't neither.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire? Hot wheels!
I guess you can say he xxxpired.
I was gonna tell you a sodium joke, but Na, only I thought it was so dium funny.
...
Why did the duck get arrested? For selling quack.
Yo mama is so classless, she could be a Marxist utopia.
What has a bottom at the top?
Your legs.
Weedle will make you high.
Why did he die?
Because God made a mistake and pressed Ctrl+Z.
Have they tried switching him off and on again?
We went running on our camping trip. It was past tents.
What was the chip doing at the hairdressers?
It was getting a crinkle cut.
One day Little Johnny’s class is having an English lesson. The teacher asks them, “Who can use the word intelligent in a sentence?” Little Mary says, “The teacher is very intelligent.” The teacher asks them, “Who can use the word fashionable in a sentence?” Little Suzie says, “They are very fashionable.” The teacher says, “Johnny, why don’t you have a go? Use the word dictate in a sentence.” Johnny thinks for a moment and then says, "Last night I heard Daddy asking Mommy, ‘Darling, how does my dick taste?’”
Yo mama is so slow, when she stepped on the highway they had to order a crane to come move her from starting traffic.
What did the Canadian say when a guy shot his beaver?
"It is ok, I forgive you."