Worst Jokes Ever
Hi Mom, how are you doing?
Q: How can you spell cold with two letters? A: IC (icy).
Q: What state is surrounded by the most water? A: Hawaii (this is really just a trick riddle).
Q: David's father had three sons: Snap, Crackle, and what's the third son's name? A: David.
What's NASA's grossest mission?
Probing Uranus.
Stevie Wonder is a terrible father.
He never sees his kids.
Why can't orphans go to movies?
There PG-13 movies.
Orphan
You know how you mine and craft in Minecraft, and you chat in VR in VR Chat, but what do you do in Alabama?
Why does an orphan only have a Samsung? Because it doesn't have a home button!
You're the type of guy to have a whole training arc after a girl wants to fight you.
So an orphan goes to the store and gets a bunch of cartons of milk.
The cashier goes, "Woah, why so much?"
The orphan goes, "My dad never came back with the milk, so, well, here we are!"
What's fun to search for in investigation?
The Milky Way!
Why does the orphan not buy milk?
That's what their parents are doing.
How did the man in prison escape?
He drew a bum on the wall and slid through the crack.
What did the pelican say when he finished shopping?
"Put it in my bill."
You look like a sandwich Bigfoot didn't even like.
A man entered the bank branch and asked the teller to withdraw his account balance. The teller debited his account and gave the man all his money. Then the man counted the money and asked the teller to deposit it back into his account.
The teller asked the man why he withdrew the money and deposited it back. Then the man replied, "I wanted to make sure all my money is safe and tallies with my records."
Lol
My grandfather said that I was too reliant on technology. I called him a hypocrite and cut him off life support.
In Alabama... How do you know your sister is having periods? Your dad's penis tastes like blood.
Which is better looking, girls or women?
I remember asking my mum: "What's a couple?"
She replied, "Two or three."
Which probably explains her collapsed marriage.