Worst Jokes Ever
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He had a computer virus!
What does the pedophile use for bait? Trix!
Fishing is like sex: when it is great, it is great; when it is not so great, it is still great!
Me: What do you call a group of retards?
Friend: Down town?
Me: Nope, target practice.
What's the difference between a Catholic priest and a pedophile? There isn't a difference.
What do you call an Indian lesbian? Minge-eater.
What do you call two Mexicans having sex? 50 Shades of Brown.
Trump and two of his friends are stranded on an island with no internet connection and no way of getting home.
As they frantically run around the island trying to get a signal so Trump can call his private helicopter to come and pick them up, Trump's wig falls off and lands on a magical lamp, from which suddenly appears a genie.
As Trump replaces his wig, the genie announces that he will grant each man one wish for freeing him. The men stop to confer. The first one says he will wish for a plane to rescue him, the second wishes for a boat to rescue him, and they tell Trump to wish for a helicopter to rescue him.
Trump, being Trump, nods and says yes, but he wasn't really listening. Then they approach the genie. The first one of Trump's friends wishes for a plane to rescue him, as agreed. The second one of Trump's friends wishes for a boat to rescue him, as agreed. Then Trump is left all alone, but instead of wishing for a helicopter to rescue him, as agreed, he says, "Aww, I'm lonely now. I wish both my friends were here with me!"
What's the difference between a pile of 100 dead babies and a Mustang Challenger?
A Mustang Challenger doesn't exist.
How do you know if your wife is dead?
Sex is the same, but the dishes keep piling up.
Them: "You're ugly."
Me: "No, as ugly as your extra chromosome."
Add me on Discord! @ moon💕#9999
What is the similarity between an anti-joke and a clown? Neither are funny.
Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow?
Her dog was blind, too.
My mom: "Dear, I don't know why your grandma is spending more time with her friend Carla, can you spy on her?"
Me: "Your mom gay lol."
My mom: "Don't talk about your grandma like that, you rude girl."
You: "Your mom gay lol."
There is this boy in my year; he is in a wheelchair, so I kicked a football at him and pushed him, and then I shouted, "Rocket League!"
Your forehead is so big, the moon landing was there.
Man, abortion jokes just don't get old, do they?
In fact, they don't age at all.
How many babies does it take to change a lightbulb?
More than 9 because my basement's still dark.
Isn't eating a clock time-consuming?