Worst Jokes Ever
One day there were these 3 cowboys sitting next to a fire and they were telling each other about their adventures. Well, the first cowboy said, "I tangled with a bull that killed 6 people, so I wrestled that son of a bitch to the ground with my bare hands."
The second cowboy said, "That's nothing. Yesterday I was walking on a trail and came across a rattler, so I picked it up, bit its head off, and drank all his venom in one gulp."
The third cowboy remained quiet, stirring the embers of the fire with his penis.
Roses are red, the sky is blue, what do you do? Oh, never mind, I'm not homo like you.
All the lines on the LGBT flag are straight.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She wasn't wearing a seat belt.
What is a rabbit's favorite type of jewelry?
Carats.
How do you fit 15 babies into a shoe box?
A blender.
How do you get them out of the shoe box? A straw.
Have you heard about the animal that was made of a human hand?
It's an ARMadillo.
What's a cat's favorite color? Purr-ple.
If seagulls fly over the sea, what flies over the bay?
Bagels.
How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb?
Must be more than 9, my basement is still dark!
How did Stephen Hawking really die?
His wife grounded him from using electronics and unplugged everything!
What is a cow's favorite water sport?
Ca-MOO-ing!
The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.
Yo mama is so unfamiliar with the gym, she calls it James.
Why was 9 afraid of 20?
Because 28, 29.
All these sea monster jokes are just kraken me up.
What's terrible? Three dead babies nailed to one tree.
What's worse than that? One dead baby nailed to three trees.
I speak for the trees.
*Trees whisper in my ear*
They said six million wasn't enough.
There are 4 people on an airplane, and the pilot has a heart attack and dies. The plane is going down, and there are also only 3 parachutes. So the guy who knows how to cure cancer says, "I’m jumping. I can save many lives." Then the 46th president, Joe Biden, says, "I’m taking the 2nd one." So there is only one left. Donald Trump says to the 7-year-old girl, "I have lived a long life. You can take the next one." So the little girl says, "That’s ok; the 46th president took my backpack." Lol.
Why do Indians gamble so much? They are hoping to one day reclaim their land.