Worst Jokes Ever

Americans live in the U.S.A. The quiet kids live in the U.Z.I.

Son: Mom, is it possible to make a strawberry cake for me?

Mom: No, that's impossible.

Son: But it is possible for your secret boyfriend, right?

Mom: No, no, please don't tell your dad. I will make a strawberry cake for you.

Son: Daddy has already tasted your sweet strawberry cake, so because of that, I felt jealous ^_^

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I saw a midget prisoner climbing down a ladder the other day and I thought, huh, that's a little con-descending.

What’s the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Corvette?

I don’t have a Corvette in my garage.

Why did little Billy drop his ice cream cone?

Cuz he got hit by a bus while crossing the street.

I went to Pen Island for vacation this summer. There were a lot of bones.

"Ho, ho, ho, what do you want for Christmas, little boy? Longer than two months to live."

I just ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon.

I'll let you know.

I have no legs.

When was the only time you could see people base jump without a parachute?

2001/9/11.

Finish the sentence.

Salt and Vi.....

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who gives a shit? I wanna know how it got the car started!

Papa: Johnny, Johnny.

Johnny: Yes, Papa?

Papa: Open wide.

Johnny: HAHAHA.

Papa: *unzips pants*

Johnny: *crying* No, Papa!

Why are Deepika Amar's jokes so shit?

Because he is a smelly cunt.

Why didn't Hitler's girlfriend like giving him a blowjob? It left a Nazi taste in her mouth...

I don't see why Africans complain about not having water. They have free chocolate milk.

Why do people shake cigarette boxes?

To wake up the cancer.

So Helen Keller walked into a bar, then a stool, then a table, then a door...

I was once caught doing it with a 16 year old in my bedroom. Boy, was my wife mad. She yelled "HOW CAN YOU F*** OUR DAUGHTER?!". Haha, yeah, she was mad.

Anyways, that's why your mother and I are getting a divorce, Timmy.