Worst Jokes Ever
I gotta song for Hawaii, baby, you light up my world like nobody else.
Yo mama's so short, when it rains, she's the last to know!
Do you know the shortest joke about Titanic?
*Splash!*
Why is Sally dead? Cause she has no arms.
What does a glass of water ask a pond?
"Water you doing?"
What does the pond answer?
"Pondering life."
What is the best thing about a gipsy on her period?
When you finger her, you get your palm red for free.
Kid's uncle: "Your mum said you can have your friends round tonight! But I'm gonna have to baby sit today."
Kid: "OK THANK YOU."
(AT BED TIME)
Kid: "Please may you stop touching my leg BEN!"
Ben: "I'm not."
(Turns light on) Kid: "UNCLEEEEE STOP SPILLING MILK OVER ME!!!"
What is the opposite of salt water?
Pepper water.
"Hippity hoppity, women are my property."
So, a guy walks into a gas station and walks to the person working and says, "Can I have a Kit Kat Chunky?" So she gets him one, and then he says, "No, I want a normal Kit Kat, you fat bitch!"
What's the difference between a pizza & a person?
A pizza doesn't scream when I try to shove it into an oven...
Your hairline [is] so bad, we needed to pull it from another universe.
Sam Mensah!
What does a deaf person do when they hear people scream? I don't know; it's not like they're gonna hear it anyway.
Why did Susie fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms.
Knock knock. Who's there?
Not Susie.
Roses are red, I like girls from the South, a 425-pound teacher gets suspended after sitting on a kid's head and farting in his mouth.
How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant?
He forgot to wrap his Whopper.
Yo mama is so nasty, she buys sex toys at the second-hand shop.
Yo mama so fat, her blood type is mayonnaise.
What do you call someone with a rubber toe?
Roberto.