Worst Jokes Ever
What's the chunkiest part of vegetable soup?
The wheelchair.
A pedophile brings his eight-year-old daughter to the doctor's office. The doctor asked her if she would like some candy? Her father replies, "Please, no more candy for her. I gave her enough today."
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Two gay lovers find out they are brothers.
A man had 10 dead and bloody babies in the middle of his living room. The police suddenly knocked on his door. What is the hardest thing to hide?
- A boner.
What is the similar thing between alcohol and anal sex?
They are not for kids.
What is the reason for why women never look to the right?
Because they don't have any rights.
How did Voldemort lose his nose?
From uncontrolled Gold Mining!
Roses are red, the sky is blue, what do you do? Oh, never mind, I'm not homo like you.
When they say beat that pussy, I don’t play so punch it.
There was a man in a wheelchair, and he got knocked out in front of a bus. He had a wheelie good life!
I was hiking once with my girlfriend. Suddenly, a huge brown bear was charging at us, really mad. We must have come close to her cubs.
Luckily I had my 9mm pistol with me. One shot to my girlfriend's kneecap was all it took. I could walk away at a comfortable pace.
When you think your mom's a virgin, then you stumble into the wrong closet.
I woke up on the floor this morning. I think I woke up on the wrong side though.
What do Asians and John Cena have in common? You can't see me!
Of course Jesus wasn't a virgin! He obviously liked being nailed!
Things said by racist aliens:
"Some of my best friends are Green."
"I just know that Orange guy stole my spaceship."
"You're very pretty for a Purple girl."
"We know you Tentacletians like to rape everyone with your tentacles!"
"Adax Hitao should have finished off you Bluish people."
"You 2-headed people are so stupid!"
"No Slimatians are allowed in this restaurant because of health codes."
"Get the hell out of my store you grigger!"
"The Plu Plux Plum meeting is tonight! Let's burn some spaceships on the Greenies' lawns!"
Man: How tall is a penguin?
Bartender: About three foot, why?
Man: Oh shit, the Bible-bashing nuns! I fucking hit one!
Poor car.
There was this Down syndrome boy that always wanted to be a cop, and he did. He pulled someone over and said, "Know why I pulled you over?"
The guy replied, "Because I was speeding?"
He said, "No, because you're black."
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your grandma died, your dad left you too, Now you're living with your old grandma coot. Oh, let's not forget your mom left you, too. You gon' live alone, die alone, with no roses on your casket, too.
I asked to borrow a book from the library. It was titled "Suicide in Ten Easy Steps." The cunt just stood and said, "Cheeky bastard, you won't bring it back!"