Worst Jokes Ever
Man, abortion jokes just don't get old, do they?
In fact, they don't age at all.
I asked this disabled kid what his favorite TV show is. He looked at me blankly and said "My favorite TV show is Vegetales."
A man and a woman get married. The woman was a retired hooker. The man was a poet.
The man said as they did 69, "You taste better than my most delicious gourmet meal." The woman said, "Well, you aren’t too bad either, but the best 69 I’ve gotten and given was Harry. He did it for 24 hours nonstop." They got divorced that night.
Did you hear about the unborn fetus? Oh wait, never mind, it must have been aborted from the sight.
What did Mother Mary say when God farted? Jesus Christ, you stink!
Have you ever seen a baby unicorn? No! Because unicorns are gay rainbows in equine form.
I tell short people to reach for the stars.
They are always a bit short of reach.
Someone came to me and said, "Your dad is gay." I just said, "Wait. You know where my dad is? Please tell me!"
Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over a bay, they would be bagels.
Want to know how to keep an idiot in suspense???
Roses are red, I like girls from the South, a 425-pound teacher gets suspended after sitting on a kid's head and farting in his mouth.
A married woman gets hit by a truck, and the cops tell her husband:
Cop: "Sir, it looks like your wife's been hit by a truck."
Man: "I know, but she has a great personality."
This guy walked into a pizzeria and ordered a water. The owner called him an idiot.
His girlfriend walked in and ordered a pineapple pizza.
The guy left her, and the owner made her leave.
My phone was at 10%, and my friend said it better not shut down like Stephen Hawking.
Yo mama so old, she was in third grade with Moses.
As he threw the mechanical pencil toward me, I knew that if I didn't move, I would be lead into serious trouble.
What does Jonathan Davis eat for breakfast?
Korn Flakes.
How many babies does it take to change a lightbulb?
More than 9 because my basement's still dark.
What's the best thing about dead baby jokes?
They never get old.
Why don't we wrestle bears?
The pain is un-bearable.