Worst Jokes Ever
97 percent of women...
I drove my new rainbow-colored car today. For some reason, it wouldn't go straight.
My biology teacher told us "get out nice and sharp colored pencils." Does she mean as sharp as in the blades I use to cut myself?
This lady has 2 parrots that only say one thing: "Hi, we're prostitutes, wanna have some fun?"
So she goes and tells her pastor. He responds with, "I have two parrots as well, they are always praying, and they have everything that a parrot needs to be a Christian. Maybe if we put our parrots together, mine will fix yours."
They proceed to do so, and the lady's parrots say, "Hi, we're prostitutes, wanna have some fun?" and the pastor's parrots reply with "Johnny, drop your beads and lift your heads, our prayers have been answered!"
childhood skipped @iissoo.00 frđ”âđ«
What would Bill Cosby be if he was white?
Innocent.
I wanted to tell a joke about Jonestown.
But the punch line is too long.
How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?
They gave her a cheese grater and told her it was a book.
A robot walks into a bar and orders a martini.
The bartender is flabbergasted that a robot can do that.
"New around here?" said the bartender.
"Nah, been here a while," said the robot.
Bartender "You can talk?"
Robot "Yeah, pretty cool, huh."
Bartender "Why do you want a martini?"
Robot "Oh, I'm just in the mood for one, you know?"
The bartender is shocked to see a robot making completely normal small talk.
The robot seems to be just like a normal human.
"Wow, who programmed you?" asked the bartender.
"The top minds in the world," said the robot.
The robot speaks again, "I have a question for you..."
Bartender, "What?"
"Why did you read this entire story? It does not have a punchline. I just wasted your time. Get bamboozled, nerd!"
Why were the rappers late for their flight?
They forgot to pack.
What is the difference between Bill Cosby and a rap artist?
The word "art."
Whatâs the difference between Stephen Hawking and a walkie-talkie?
He canât walkie or talkie.
What is the difference between your dad and a video game?
Your dad doesnât beat you.
Why do you Scotchmen wear kilts?
Because sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away.
Why canât you take an Asian guy golfing? Because you canât drive. Every time he does, he tries to put a hole-in-one.
"A friend with weed is a friend indeed."
You know, you should adopt a pet. So then you can feel the pain that your parents felt when they adopted you... wait... also the regret after.
How are Asians like a box of chocolates?
Either way, theyâll kill your dog.
What does a pregnant slave and a "pay less" sale have in common?
Buy one, get one free.
How long does it take a black woman to take out the trash?
About nine months and a day.