Worst Jokes Ever
A father asked his son, Little Johnny, if he knew about the birds and the bees. “I don’t want to know!” Little Johnny said, exploding and bursting into tears.
Confused, his father asked Little Johnny what was wrong. “Oh, Pop,” Johnny sobbed, “For me there was no Santa Claus at age six, no Easter Bunny at seven, and no Tooth Fairy at eight. And if you’re telling me now that grownups don’t really have sex, I’ve got nothing left to live for!”
Question: What does tennis have that orphans don't get?
Answer: Love.
What do the Twin Towers and a bad joke have in common? They never land well.
Yesterday my mom forgot to go grocery shopping, and I was starving, so I kept opening the fridge about 100 times, but nothing new was in there.
TJ's hairline is so far back, his friends don't even want to talk to him.
Stop making 9/11 jokes, guys! My uncle died in that event. He was the best Arabian pilot in the world!
What do you get when you cross a lesbian and a platypus? I lick a lot of pussy.
Wife: [Looks] in the mirror. Wife: I look fat, can you say something positive? Husband: At least your eyes work.
What did the parents rearrange the furniture to punish a child?
Guess he was a stupid blind motherfucker 🖕 that didn't even know how to use a cane to figure out where they put the furniture.
My dog died today. 😥
I was at a funeral and made a joke. No one laughed, but someone died.
Why do-- wait, what am I saying? What am I talking about?
Being a police officer in Nunavut must be so fun. They get to play Cut the Rope on the job all the time!
What do you call a kid with no arms and no legs?
Names.
A boy's hairline is always in the back of his head, and its shape is like a check mark.
My father, who flew the plane, couldn't have a funeral, he went everywhere.
Yo mama so fat, when she jumped in the ocean, the whales said, "We are family, even though you're fatter than me!"
Your hairline is gone because you never bathed or brushed.
It looks like Kevin Magnussen finally got pole position.
He has the bragging rights that he took over Russia now.
What did the Turkey say to the other Turkey?
"They forgot the stuffing!"