Worst Jokes Ever
Yo mama so ugly, when she looks in a mirror, it says, "Viewer discretion advised!"
Bro, yo mama so fat Thanos had to clap her out of existence.
What's brown and in a baby's diaper?
Michael Jackson's hand.
Little William punched Little Johnny in the face. Then Little Johnny says, "If you do that again, I'm gonna turn your fucking nuts into coconut juice."
I bought a new shotgun the other day. Want to know what I called it?
Kurt Cobain's microphone.
Hey, I got some Domino's pizza, salad, breadsticks, and chicken wings for everyone. Yeah, but make sure Ms. Mandingo gorilla don't eat all up, because if she do, I'm going have to shove it up her fur.
What did Schrödinger say to Shakespeare?
"To be and not to be."
What do you call someone who gets killed at 12 o'clock on New Year's? First kill of the match.
I had a conversation with a Möbius strip.
It was one-sided.
Why are orphans so bad at learning about ancient Egypt? They don't know what mummies are.
My husband left a note on the fridge that said, “This isn’t working.”
I'm not sure what he's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it’s working fine? Anyone know what he means?
What do you call a lesbian? Me.
The cancer patient asked the doctor how many more months he had to live. The doctor replied, "Tu-more."
Why are retards good at basketball?
'Cause they dribble all the time!
Girlfriend after sex: How did you get so good at eating pussy?
Boyfriend: My mom taught me.
When your girl is sucking your dick and chokes on it, not because it’s big but because you haven’t washed it in weeks.
Why do pedos like to lose races? Because they like to cum on a little behind.
What do you call a fish with two knees?
What do you call a black man flying a plane?
A pilot, you racist bastard!
Why is September 11th the best birthday ever? No one forgets it :)