Worst Jokes Ever
Q: Why did the toilet paper cross the road?
A: It did not want to get stuck in a crack.
I dated a German girl, it was very annoying when she kept on screaming her age and moaning.
I asked my new girlfriend how many men she’d had before me.
She said not to worry, she could count them all on one hand.
Unfortunately, this was when I noticed she’s holding her cell phone with a calculator app open. I took note of her wallet inside a picture of what appeared to be 10 guys. I asked and she said that’s my fam as well. I noticed an Alabama driver's license. I asked which one was her dad. She said that she doesn’t talk to him anymore because he had sex with the boss’s daughter. I casually asked what he did for work. Self-employed? She said that’s the last time I use ancestry.com!
What has 4 wheels, no wings, and flies?
A dead cripple.
When a woman says, "I need to be treated like a delicate flower," don't cut the wrong cord on the bomb.
If you look up the word "wheelchair" in a dictionary, you will see a picture of Stephen Hawking.
Comic: God, you're a fuckin' virgin, aren't you?!
Gerald: No! I've been 'round the block loads of times; women practically drool over me.
Comic: Yeah, and the Archbishop of Banterbury, mate. A name like Gerald, and with added 'four eyes' like them shit pair of glasses from FOUR EYED SPECCY INSTITUTION, mate, the only woman your dick has been in was when you were inside your mom's womb.
Your mom has quite the mouth on her.
As I found out last night. Oh, what a night!! 😏 😉 😜
Kermit the Frog and Fozzie Bear were having a picnic.
Fozzie said, "Do you know where Ms. Piggy is? I haven't seen her all day."
Kermit said, "I don't know, but this extra bacon cheeseburger sure tastes great."
This bitch got mad at me because I couldn’t last four strokes. My grandpa didn’t even survive one.
Somebody told me that black slang is just white slang in reverse. For example:
White person: Dad, you're home!
Black person: Dad?
White person: You can keep the change.
Black person: Empty the register.
How do you know when you have been invited to a gay barbecue?
When you are unable to distinguish foot-long hot dogs from long and thick big dicks, regardless of skin color.
Why didn't Michael Jackson get away with messaging with kids? Because they were all juveniles.
What does a physicist call it when a suicidal person is high up? Potential energy.
What's the difference between a normal person's funeral and a person with polio?
The pose!
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite hobby?
Rolling on ice.
Organise my brother's bucks party and got confused when he asked for a hot 22 year old for I brought him 20 two yr Olds....
Good thing my brother's a little bit different.
How do skyscrapers make friends?
They reach out.
Who's there?
Interrupting cow.
Interrupting c—
MOO!
Unfortunately, I had bad luck and faced infidelity.
Picture this: the bedroom door opens and I see my girlfriend in bed with two men...
I didn’t expect her to come back so early.