Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call an orphan's family reunion?
Alone time.
What is the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body?
I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.
A depressed kid didn't succeed at suicide and said, "I'm a failure at suicide, too."
A priest is struck by lightning and lays hurt on the ground.
When medical crew arrives he denies them, saying, "God will surely save me!"
The medical team tries to help him, but he keeps struggling and eventually dies.
Later in the afterlife, he screams at God, saying, "Why didn't you save me? Am I not dear to you?"
God answered, "B****, I sent you a f***ing ambulance and you denied it!"
I have a stepladder because my real ladder left when I was 5.
What do orphans want to get for Christmas?... A mother.
Papyrus: Sans! I heard that a HUMAN has fallen!
Sans: And you gotta bone to pick with 'em?
What is a pedophile’s favorite part about Halloween?
Free delivery.
I would try to stop rapists, but force would be an option for it.
I rate my dad as a pilot 9 out of 11.
How do emos like their meat cooked?
Medium rawr.
How old are 9/11 victims?
"There, toddlers, here come the airplane!"
A teacher asked a class who killed Goliath. The first pupil said he wasn’t the one. The second said he doesn’t know. No one knew in the class.
The teacher got furious and dashed to the Head Master’s office to report. Immediately, the head master followed him back to the class with a cane. He growled- “If no one tells me who killed Goliath in this class, you will see fire!” Everyone in the class insisted on the fact that it wasn’t them.
Then the Head master looked at the teacher and said- “Mr. Dapo, are you sure that the person who killed Goliath is in this class?” The teacher fainted.
Yo hairline so ugly, it looks like a newfound constellation.
After arriving home from helping the priest, a young altar boy approaches his parents, "Mommy, Daddy, my poop is white!"
The mother rushes the boy to the hospital, while the father rushes to church in a rage and proceeds to beat the living hell out of the priest. Afterwards, the father heads to the hospital and meets his wife in the waiting room; she's surprisingly calm.
"How can you be so relaxed after what that bastard has been doing to our son?" he exclaims.
The wife looks up at him, "What are you talking about? It's just a liver infection!"
What's an orphan's least favorite joke?
Dad jokes.
Why do New Zealanders have sex with sheep on the edge of cliffs? They push back harder.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
They don't know where home is.
What did one aborted baby say to the other? Nothing. They're both dead.
Why is the U.S. so mad about the Twin Towers? It was an accident. The pilots were new.