Worst Jokes Ever
I can't wait to see Uranus! š
Q. What did the math book say to the other math book?
A. I have too many problems.
Why does Technoblade love orphans?
'Cause he can relate to their parents!
Whatās yellow and canāt swim?
A school bus full of children.
What's the difference between a dead baby and an orange?
I don't keep a trash bag full of oranges in my basement.
How are a mouse and a bale of hay alike?
The cat'll eat it (the cattle eat it).
What was Stephen Hawking's mother's name?
Ilean.
What is the definition of a woman?
A life support system for a vagina.
Salman Rushdie got a new book out.
It's called "Buddha. You Fat Cunt."
Q: Why did Sally get beat up?
A: She couldnāt fight back.
What do you call a baby kangaroo? Joey.
What do you call a 6 year old named Joey? Supper.
What did the bottle of conditioner do on the toilet?
Shampoo.
Why did the electron leave the atom?
Because it didn't want to be argon.
What is an astronaut's favorite part of a keyboard?
The SPACE BAR!
What is similar about the feelings of a girl's birth daddy and her new pimp daddy?
They both worry about how she will turn out!
A man walks into a bar with an alligator. He says to the bartender, "I have a deal, if I can hold my dick in the alligator's mouth for a minute without it biting, you owe me one drink." And so the bartender agreed.
The man, like he said, had his dick in the alligator's mouth for one minute without it biting, and the bartender gave him a drink. He made another deal, but for two minutes and for two drinks. Sure enough, he was able to do it and he drank his drinks. Then he did it for five minutes and five drinks. He did it and drank his drinks. Then he said to the amazed crowd, "Would anyone like to volunteer?" One man raised his hand. He walked up to the man with the alligator and said, "Just a warning, I don't think I can hold my mouth open that long."
Little boy: Are you an orphan?
Orphan: Yes, what gave me away?
Little boy: Your parents.
Have you walked into Steven Hawking's house yet?
Yeah, neither has he.
Do nothing about people falling down the stairs, it will keep happening.
Put razor blades on the stairs, it will be their last time falling down the stairs.
I love to play catch with my dad! He's never there to catch the ball, though.