Worst Jokes Ever
My girlfriend left a note on the TV saying, "This isn't working!" I don't know what she's talking about, the TV works perfectly fine.
My arm has a different texture than the rest of me, lol.
What does LMAO stand for?
Launching Moms At Orphans.
Do you work at Subway? Because you turn my 6 inch into a footlong.
Why can’t Asian people make a white baby?
Because two wongs don’t make a white.
What's black and white and read all over?
A newspaper.
What's black, white, black, white, red, white, black, red, black, then red all over?
A penguin falling down the stairs.
What is the difference between an orphan and a cat?
The cat is actually cute.
What do you call a fudge packer who has special needs?
A gay black male that has Down Syndrome.
With the sentence "Die in Hölle," you can buy shoes in Germany.
I'll rate this a 9/11.
Was threatened with legal action off my postman this morning!! I was stood havin a smoke when he asked if my dog bites, I said no. Halfway down my path the dog jumped up and bit him on his testicles!! Screaming out in pain he Said I was a lying bitch cos I told him my dog didnt bite!! Told him mine doesnt!! that wasnt my dog!!!
If your eyes were the sea, I would drown in them.
How do s’mores communicate?
On Insta-graham.
Husband: Dammit, Alice! I'm your husband, and I'm telling you that you better stay in this kitchen if you know what's good for you!
Wife: Go to hell, Bob! I'm leaving!
Ignoring my protective advice, Alice stormed out of our underground kitchen, even though it was the safest place to be while the nuclear war still raged outside.
Yo mamma is so ugly, even Ripley wouldn't believe it.
As I am from South Carolina, I just thought about something Jefferson Davis would have thought about:
"Them slaves taking credit for everything."
What do you call a baby Mexican? A paragraph because they aren’t a full essay.
Are you made of Gallium and Yttrium?
Because you are looking a little bit GaY.
When your teenager asks for personal space and you remind her that she came out of your personal space.
How did the digital clock show off to its mother?
Look, Ma, no hands!