Worst Jokes Ever
Knock knock.
"Cow goes."
No, silly, cows go moo!
Why are a gun and a bag of chips alike?
You pull them out at school and everyone wants to be your friend.
What is long and hard and full of seamen?
A submarine.
People are like trees...
If you hit them with an ax multiple times, they'll fall over.
My brother told me he wanted to find a golden apple tree in real life. I told him it was a fruitless mission.
A pirate walks into a bar and has a ship's wheel in his pants.
The bartender asks, "What's with the wheel in your pants?"
The pirate replies, "Yarrr! It's drivin' me nuts!"
A man finds his son climbing the roof of his house. The kid kept using all sorts of material to climb up, but the dad didn't pay much attention.
Next day the kid went to the state tower and kept climbing using some adhesive gloves. The dad asks his son for a second time: "Son! Why are you doing this?" The son replies: "You told me to aim up high!"
Why did the skeleton not listen to the rules?
He was "bone tiba wild."
What ended in 1999? 1998.
What do you call a skeleton snake?
A rattler!
I have a phobia of over-engineered buildings.
It's a complex complex complex.
Q: Why does Helen Keller masturbate with only one hand?
A: She moans with the other.
Why do women always have sex with the lights off?
Because they never like to see a man having a good time.
Yo mama so fat that she needs 12 queen size mattresses to go to sleep.
Your mom is so fat that she works as a hydraulic press in a car factory!
You’re so ugly, I can see why your dad left now.
Your mum so fat that when she sat down she said, "Why are there so many people under me?"
What is the best thing about an 18-year-old girl in the shower?
Slick her hair back, she looks 15.
What's the difference between a priest and McDonald's? They both stick their meat in 10-year-old buns.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Lay on the bed, So I can fuck you.