Worst Jokes Ever
What's worse than ten babies stapled to a tree?
A baby stapled to ten trees.
Have you heard about the smart traveler? He's clearly going places.
I've always wondered how it would feel to put Hellen Keller in a room full of doorknobs... but no doors.
Stairs are bad, because they are always up to something.
Me: *looks at person's hand* This guy doesn't have fingers!
Random person with no fingers: Why do you have to point that out?
Why was the dog staying in the shade?
Because it didn't want to be a hot dog!
My dog got mad at me for touching his toy. Do you know what he said?
"Get your paws off!" 💩💩💩
So I saw the police. I yelled, "Dumper, get into the fucking yumper!"
Just walked in on my parents doing it! Worst 30 minutes of my life.
Potatoes
What happens when you get a virus-related sickness? It goes viral on Twitter!
The shovel was a groundbreaking invention.
A man went to the doctor, and the doctor said, "What happened to you?"
The man replied and said, "I broke my arm in two places!"
Then the doctor replied with, "DON’T GO BACK TO THOSE TWO PLACES!!"
Mom: (Looking through Facebook) How adorable!
Kid: (Looking over her shoulder) What a cute ass!
The kid's mom blushes until she realizes what he was pointing to. It was a picture of a baby donkey.
The real question is, what was she looking at on the same screen that made her blush at that remark?
What is Michael Jordan's favorite coffee place? Dunkin' Donuts.
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
He didn't have the guts.
What did Santa say when he got to the club? Ho, ho, ho!
Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere.
Q. What color were Mohammed Atta’s eyes?
A. Blue, one blue this way and one blue the other way.
What's brown and sticky? A stick!