Worst Jokes Ever

Joaquin Phoenix as The Joker is like Heath Ledger if he overdosed on prescription drugs... Oh, wait. He already did.

Which president has never gone to jail?

Lincoln because he's innocent in a cent, get it?

Louis Day is Steven Hawkins' identical twin.

There are 5 cats on a boat, and 1 jumps off. How many are left?

Zero, they were copycats.

What is a duck's favorite thing to smoke?

Quack.

What do you call a Mexican with no car?

Carlos.

Stephen Hawking walks into... er...rolls into a bar.

What was Stephen Hawking's name before he got his disease?

Stephen Walkins.

Sex sex sex free sex tonight, I mean 666-3629.

What’s red, blonde, and wet?

Saskia in grain.

Why was there a box in a church? Because there was a funeral.

If you shit in a church, is it a holy shit?

Gay.

Why did God create gay men? So fat girls could dance.

Why can't Cleopatra ride a bicycle?

Because she's dead.

Are suicide bombers taught properly how to fly, or...

Are they just given a quick crash course?

I accidentally handed my wife a glue stick instead of a chapstick. She still isn't talking to me.

How did the man with a small penis become a rapist? His condom fell off.

It must have been a sad day when you slithered out of the abortion bucket.

I tried to start a music career, but it crashed harder than Paul Walker.