Worst Jokes Ever
You know why Santa's saying is "Ho Ho Ho?"
How else is he supposed to give boys and girls a baby brother or sister for Christmas?
Me: Why can't orphans play baseball? Friend: Why? Me: Because they can't find home.
Why did Jesus create the Devil?
He didn't recognize himself through the time portal.
So, there was a male whale and a female whale swimming through the ocean. One day the male whale sees a ship and says, "That's the ship that killed my parents!" So they go to the ship and blow the ship over and throw the men overboard into the sea.
The male whale sees the man who killed his parents and he was still alive, so he opened his mouth and went for the man, but out of nowhere the female whale yells, "Hey!! I was in it for the blowjob, but I'm not gonna eat seamen!"
How do you know the hooker killed herself?
She sniffed the line off the dresser you said not to touch.
Grandma: You guy's generation is on too much technology.
Kid: Well, you're the ones that raised us.
Other family members: ...
What goes down but not up?
An emo.
Why can't a homeless person be in "The Boys?"
Because he would have beef with Homelander.
What is an emo's favorite movie?
The Suicide Squad.
What do the Nicaraguan Contras, Crips, and Crack have in common? The CIA.
Women should have the right to choose whether they want to do cooking or cleaning first.
I saw a helicopter on January 26, 2020. Then Kobe was on the news.
Who is older than the Twin Towers?
Billy Bob the 1th. He was older than the Twin Towers. He was born 3 minutes before the Twin Towers and is still alive today.
A sandwich is a sandwich, but a Manwich is a meal.
-- Jeffery Dahmer
What did the poo say when it fell out of your bum?
"Your anus looks like my mum's bedsheet which is smelly and covered in poo."
I also just wanted to add that a Goonie's anus looks like my nan's mouth.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.
Jack got high and grabbed Jill's thigh and said, "I know you wanna!"
Jill said yes, lifted up her dress, and then they had some fun,
But stupid Jill forgot the pill and now they have a son.
What falls first, the emo or the leaf? The leaf. The emo was hanging.
Dark humor is like food; some people get it, others don't...
Mario: Princess Peach got kidnapped again!
Luigi: Where did they go?
Mario: To the left.
Luigi: Fuck
Say this when you answer a spam call...
"Hi, welcome to Bob's Taco Shack and Funeral Home, where yesterday's grief is today's beef."