Worst Jokes Ever
Chuck Norris threw a grenade once. It killed 300 people.
And then it exploded.
I saw a Black person riding a bike, so I ran back to my garage. He was still eating.
NSFW Why can't women ever tell men where the clitoris is?
'Cause it's a place to eat.
What kind of fruit can fix your sink?
A plum-ber.
Why can you never surprise mountains?
They peak.
What do you call a German that can not see?
A Not-see.
Tons of people committed suicide on 9/11 by destroying government property.
Not to mention and by plane.
"A llahu Aks into a bar..."
And it blows up!
What do the initials FBI stand for?
Federal Bureau of Idiots.
What do you do after fucking the loosest pussy ever?
Close the casket.
What did the captured Germans say to the French in WW1?
"Verdun for."
What do you call a guy in a wheelchair that lives with the royal family?
Rolls Royce.
Want to save 50% on your Chinese?
Just ask before you pay.
Been learning Chinese...
69 is too-can-chew.
Jokes about ISIS are all about the execution.
Q: What do you call an Asian paralympian?
A: Lim Ping.
A young cowboy entered a seedy cafe in a small West Texas town.
He sat at the counter and spotted an elderly cowboy with his arms folded and his gaze fixed on a bowl of chili. After roughly 15 minutes of staring at it, the young cowboy boldly inquired, “If you’re not going to eat it, do you mind if I do?” Slowly turning his head toward the young wrangler, the older cowboy muttered, in his best cowboy voice, “Nah. Go ahead.”
The young cowboy eagerly reached over and slid the bowl over to his spot, spooning it in with glee. He was almost to the bottom when he noticed a rotten dead rat in the chili.
The sight was shocking, and he immediately upchucked the chili into the bowl. The old cowboy quietly said, “Yep, that’s as far as I got, too...”
I'm as straight as a rainbow.
An old professor’s class used to begin with a dirty joke.
Following one particularly vulgar joke, the girls in the class decided to walk out the next time he began.
When the professor learned of this planned protest, he came in the next morning and said, “Good morning, class. Did you hear about the scarcity of whores in Newfoundland?”
With that, all the women stood up and headed for the door.
“Wait, ladies,” called the professor, “The boat doesn’t leave until tomorrow!”
Why do emo kids cost so much?
Because they’re the only people you can scan at the checkout machine.