Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs laying in a pile of leaves?
Russell
Person 1: Did you hear the joke bout 9/11?
Person 2: No, but it'll probably crash and burn.
I work with animals!
What do you do?
I’m a butcher.
Why did the cat meow?
Because it's a cat, and they meow.
Do you have a shovel in your back pocket?
Why?
'Cause I’m digging that ass.
"Hippity hoppity, the school shooter spotted me."
If you put a million monkeys at a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program.
The rest of them will write Perl programs.
Where did Milky Way get its degree?
At the university.
"Consent is just some fucked up feminist propaganda."
It is interesting how different nations have their dogs make different sounds.
An American dog goes Woof, a Czech dog goes Haf, a Dutch dog goes Blaf, and a Chinese dog goes Sizzle.
Today was a really bad day. My mother-in-law was hit by a cab AND I lost my job as a cab driver!
What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common?
There used to be two until they divided into multiple pieces.
My boss said she would've loved to meet Bill Cosby as a child. I don't get why I'm getting arrested. I was just making sure his dream came true.
Roses are red... Violets are blue... I feel like I'm gonna get raped next to you.
I hope Death is a woman.
That way, it will never come for me.
The most corrupt CEOs are those of the pretzel companies.
They’re always so twisted!
Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating?
Because they have no body to go with.
How do you know someone has Down syndrome?
They're doing better than you.
Why did Sally cross the road?
She didn’t wear her seatbelt.
I heard a joke about heavy metal earlier. It was pretty ironic.
I figured I would steel it and put it on this site. I mean, it was either that, or lose it forever.