Worst Jokes Ever
What does an apple and a gay person have in common?
Both fruits hang in trees out in the Middle East.
Why is 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 8 9.
What is black and white and red all over?
JFK
Why are quantum physicists so poor at sex?
Because when they find the position, they can't find the momentum, and when they have the momentum, they can't find the position.
Guy: Why can't Jesus have M&M's?
Priest: Why?
Guy: Because they'll fall through the hole in his hands.
When you steal the weird pet rock, so he pulls out his pet Glock.
Me: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Person: Why?
Me: Because he wanted to.
So an orphan was crying in a corner in the dark. Then a man came over and asked, "Why are you crying?"
Then said, "Do you want me to get your parents?"
"Trump is Putin, America first!" hahaha
What is the hardest thing to eat on a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
What’s the difference between a drug dealer and a prostitute?
A prostitute only has one crack, and has to wash it and sell it again.
"Mom? Don't freak out, but I'm in the hospital."
"Aaron, you've been a doctor for over 8 years now, please stop starting every phone conversation we have with that."
Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bay, they would be called bagels.
Bully: You're gonna die.
Me: Hurry up then.
At weddings, old people poke me and say, "You're next!" So I do the same to them at funerals.
Who was the knight on the Round Table that only ate meat?
Sir Loin.
If your girl smells like tilapia, don’t let her on top of ya.
What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?
She choked.
What did Stephen Hawking's wife say to him having sex? "You're wheelie good at this!"
Why does Santa not have any children?
He only cums once a year.