Worst Jokes Ever

Spongebob is yellow, and he can't drive.

Must be Asian.

What's the one good thing about pedophiles? They slow down near schoolzones.

What did one cell say to his sister when she stepped on his toe? Mitosis!

What’s the difference between a bird and a human?

“We don’t eat with our peckers.”

Where do rabbits eat breakfast?

IHOP.

Stage 4 cancer is like a woman. You can’t beat it, but if you do, she’ll probably come back again.

Am I the only one who gives people in the neighborhood names they don't know they have? Like "Blue truck dude", "Loud dog guy", "Nice old lady with the rose bushes", "That slut across the street."

What do you call your brother in Alabama? Daddy.

Q. How much cum does a gay guy have?

A. A butt load.

So, I was fucking my daughter the other day and my wife walked in... I don't know what was funnier: the look on her face, or that the abortion clinic let me keep her.

How does NASA organize their parties? They planet.

I heard a pretty juicy rumor about butter, but I decided I didn't want to spread it.

What's better than roses on a piano?

Tulips on an organ.

Paul Walker's death was a tragedy, but at least he went out in a blaze of glory.

Happiness.

The "W" in African stands for water.

Who are the fastest readers in the world?

9/11 victims. They went through 80 stories in 7 seconds. In case you didn't see that one coming, don't feel bad, they didn't either.

On the inside of a fire hydrant you'll find H2O. What's on the outside? K9P.

My Llama's cousin sucks at going on vacation.

He just stands there; "I'll pack uhhhh...."

What is the difference between a washing machine and a hooker?

I can put a load in the washing machine without it following me.