Worst Jokes Ever
Two windmills were standing in a wind farm. One asked, "What's your favorite type of music?" The other one replied... "I'm a big metal fan."
Why did Stephen Hawking die? He ran out of data.
How does the bunny keep his fur neat?
With a hare brush.
A priest asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, "Do you have any last requests?"
"Yes," replies the murderer, "Can you please hold my hand?"
What did the skeleton say while riding his Harley Davidson motorcycle?
I’m bone to be wild!
Yo mama so stupid, I told her Christmas was right around the corner--and she looked.
Ring ring.
Abortion clinic!
Where no fetus can beat us.
Chuck does not cut butter with a knife, he cuts a knife with butter.
What feature does an orphan's phone not have?
A home button.
How do you get a dishwasher to shovel snow? Give the bitch a shovel.
My friends and I were talking about this really ugly girl at our school. For some reason, she had the same name as me.
My girlfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of her Honda Civic. But if I'm going to have sex, it's going to be on my own Accord.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where home is.
What did the paintings name their daughter?
Palette.
Did you hear the scores of the African basketball game?
It was Eight-Nothing.
What did the Chinese family name their retarded kid? Something Wong.
How did the blind Catholic get in a car crash? He asked Jesus to take the wheel.
When someone has an imaginary friend, you call them weird and crazy.
But when a group of people have an imaginary friend, you call it religion. :)
"Twins sitting in class."
Me: Casually throws a paper plane at them.
How many people does it take to screw in a light bulb? It takes two, but don't ask me how they get inside.