Worst Jokes Ever
Why did the cheetah get disqualified?
Because he was a cheetah, duh!
How do cows laugh?
Moo-haha.
What did the orphan get for Christmas?
Lego figures from his friend, but they ran away too.
Your forehead's so big, it makes Kanye's ego small.
What’s the difference between 911 and an abortion?
With 911 there was a victim to tell the tale.
Why don't dinosaurs lay eggs?
Because they're EGGstinct!
If Al Gore started a math rock band, it should be called Algorhythm.
If a woman gets raped, just walk away, don't bother. Cheer on the rapist if you want.
They believe they are equal to men, right? So they are able to fight back, right? Then prove it! My EQUALITY!
What is common in my AirPods and the Titanic?
They sync properly.
A recent study has found that beer contains female hormones.
A test group of 100 male volunteers each consumed six pints of beer, and the effect was they all talked endlessly about nothing and couldn’t drive for shit.
A little girl and a little boy are taking a bath together when the little girl looks down and asks, "What's that?" The little boy says, "That's my little red race car." 10 minutes later, the boy looks down and asks, "What's that?" The little girl says, "That's my little red race car garage."
So later that night the boy asks the little girl if he can put his little red race car in her little red race car garage. She says yes, and they pull down their pants and the boy tries putting his little red race car in her garage, but it won't fit. Downstairs, the mother hears an ear-piercing scream and runs upstairs, flips on the lights, and sees blood on the floor. The mother asks, "What happened?" The little girl says, "We tried putting his car in my garage and it wouldn't fit, so I cut the back wheels off."
Chuck Norris doesn't zoom out; everything moves backwards.
Did you hear that Daft Punk came out with a cook book?
It's called "One More Thyme."
What bird doesn’t need a comb?
Bald eagles.
The shovel is a ground breaking invention.
*Slaps and laughs*
What's the opposite of Christopher Reeves?
Christopher Walken.
Therapist: So how depressed would you say you’ve been feeling lately?
Me: I don’t care anymore if my foot hangs over the bed where a monster can get it.
Therapist [whispering]: Jesus, wow.
Why did Michael Jackson dangle his baby out the window?
He was airing his blanket.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive you ♥️.
I'm starting a clown shoe store.
It's no small feat! :oD