Worst Jokes Ever
What’s the best part about twenty-eight year olds?
There’s twenty of them.
One day Nathan came in ten minutes late to Mr. Jones's class. Mr. Jones asked him, "Nathan, what do you have to say for yourself?" Nathan says, "Please sir, I was on top of Cherry Hill." Then Dave came in a further ten minutes late to Mr. Jones's class. Mr. Jones asked him, "Dave, what do you have to say for yourself?" Dave says, "Please sir, I was on top of Cherry Hill." Then Mike came in a further ten minutes late to Mr. Jones's class. Mr. Jones asked him, "Mike, what do you have to say for yourself?" Mike says, "Please sir, I was on top of Cherry Hill." Then five minutes later a new girl walked in to Mr. Jones's lesson. Mr. Jones is at the end of his tether now and says, "Who are you and why are you late?" The new girl says, "Sir, I'm called Cherry Hill."
One time this kid came back from school and said, "Mom I have one good news and one bad news, which one do you wanna hear first?" And his mom said, "Good news please," and the boy said, "I got 100% on my math test today." and his mom gave him a hug, and the boy said, "Now to the bad news, I LIED!"
Why did the noble gas cry?
Because all his friends Argon.
Look in the mirror. There's a joke for you.
What was Michael Jackson's favorite dessert? Cream pie.
What do you call someone with Down Syndrome who smokes weed?
A baked potato.
What's the definition of trust?
Two cannibals giving each other blowjobs.
Why do bees have sticky hair? They always use honeycombs.
Go Kermit, toaster bath.
Me: Happy birthday! I got you a Rubix cube! Friend: I hate you. Me: Why? Friend: I'm color blind.
Did you know when scientists discovered atoms could split, it blew them all away?
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
She had no arms.
Why couldn't she get up?
She had no friends.
Knock Knock (Who's there?)
Not Sally...
Stephen Hawking is such a bad role model for our kids.
He only ever looks one way when crossing the street.
Q. What is the difference between a normal kid and an emo kid? A. The phrase "jump rope" means different things.
What is a priest's favorite song?
-- Magic Flute in A minor.
Rape jokes are like your dad's dick. You don't want it but you still get it anyway.
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to the man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!" The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
Today was a bad day. There was a man throwing butter and cheese at me, how dairy!
What are the big mouths of feminists good for? Portable urinal for men.