Worst Jokes Ever
What's a Mexican's least favorite lesson in art? Drawing border lines.
Why did the coffee file a police report? -- Because it was mugged.
What's the difference between that bridge and my will to live? None, they're both too short.
Why can't the orphan play the game of life? They don't know what a family road trip is. 😆
What is the difference between a man performing anilingus on a woman and a man performing cunnilingus on a woman?
If a man is performing anilingus on a woman, it is not classified as heterosexual sodomy, you fucking idiot!!!!!
What did the rapist say to his victim?
"Go ahead, call the police. We will see who comes first."
Roses are red, violets are black. Why is your chest as flat as your back?
Your mama is so fat that when she wears yellow, kids run after her thinking they missed the school bus.
What do you get from a dwarf cow?
Condensed milk.
Woman one: "I got so mad at my GPS today that I told it to go to hell!"
Woman two: "Did that work?"
Woman one: "Well, it took me to my in-laws’ house."
What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common?
They both used their brains to paint the ceiling.
How do bitches talk about body positivity when they have no body to even be positive about?
when you don't have a phone to play Fruit Ninja and improvise.
Chuck Norris once put a plastic bag on his head, and the bag suffocated to death.
My husband told me to make him a sandwich. I was looking online for some comebacks. Someone online said, "You better come back with a goddamn sandwich!"
When you accidentally turn in your suicide note instead of your essay to the teacher, but she still gives you an A.
The suicide hotline didn't even give me advice on how to kill myself. Not helpful at all.
What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
My friend told me he had a sister. I asked if she was hot, and he said she was 8. That wasn't my question.
The only reason Stephen Hawking died is because he forgot to update to the latest version of Microsoft.