Worst Jokes Ever
Never tell an orphan about a family matter; they wouldn't understand.
I named my dog "5 miles" so when I walk him, I can say I walked 5 miles.
Random guy: I ran over 5 miles.
What’s the similarity between a bag of chips and a gun?
When you pull one out in class, everybody wants to be your friend.
What do a crippled person's legs and the Twin Towers have in common? They both went down and never came back up.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite song?
- They see me rolling.
What do you call an Asian who can't hear?
Wha U Sai
30 people died in a car wreck before they got to Heaven. God asked for one wish because they died in a tragic way. The first lady, she was obsessed with her looks, so she asked to be beautiful and God granted her wish. The next person didn't know what to wish for, so they wished for the same thing. The guy in the very back was laughing, having a grand old time. Then God got to the person before the last. He said the same, he wished to be beautiful. When God got to the last person, he said, "I want them all to be ugly again."
If a person shoots a person about to commit suicide, is it making it less painful, or is it murder?
Yo mama so fat, when she walked by the TV, I missed three episodes.
Why can't an orphan be gay?
Because they don't have anyone to call "daddy". (My bad if this offended anyone.)
Lol. It was just a prank, bro.
I tried to sue the airport for misplacing my luggage. -- I lost my case.
Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.
What is Hitler's favorite game?
Nahtzee.
I couldn’t quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.
Nutted in her braces, now my kids are behind bars.
Friend: *hits head* Others: How many fingers am I holding up? Me to friend: How suicidal am I on a scale from one to ten? Friend: Ten Me: He's fine guys.
What's Al Qaeda's favorite football team?
New York Jets.
Q: Do you know why people don't like abortion jokes?
A: Because they leave people with a feeling of emptiness inside.
Person A: C'mon person B, just be happy, smile.
Person B: Over my dead body.
Person B: *gets the noose*