Worst Jokes Ever
What's a depressed person's favorite drink?
Depresso expresso.
JK, it's bleach.
Little Johnny went on a camping trip. All the tents were taken, so he shared with the teacher. So Little Johnny says: "Can I play with your bellybutton? My mom always lets me when we camp." So the teacher says: "Sure." 5 minutes later the teacher says: "Woah, woah, woah that's not my bellybutton!" Little Johnny says: "Woah, woah, woah, that's not my finger."
What do you call an orphan's family tree? A stump.
playing irl fruit ninja on my arm.
Sorry for all the jokes, I'll end it.
Someone asked me, "What are them scars on your arm?" I thought I was playing a violin.
Want to know why parents don't get school shooting jokes?
Because they are aimed at a younger audience.
How do parents punish their blind kids?
They re-arrange the furniture.
Why did the United Nations stop the french government from using the guillotine in public?
because the french government was using the guillotine in public on newborn baby boys for circumcision.
I bet my friend $5 that he would die drowning.
A depressing but satisfying victory.
What is the worst motivational thing to say to a suicidal person?
"If at first you don’t succeed, try again and again until you succeed."
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel attached to his dick.
The bartender asks him why.
And the pirate says:
"Argh, It's driving me nuts."
Why can’t an orphan get suspended or expelled from school? Because they need to contact parents.
Someone asked me why I'm still here... the answer is simple: I don't want to be used as a school assembly.
What do you call a disabled Asian?
Sum Ting Wong.
People sometimes ask me why I cut myself. I usually answer that at least I can scan my worth at the supermarket.
So I meet with a therapist on a weekly basis. We talk about my depression and how it's been getting worse. Recently, I've been advised about my condition, and how I've been discussing with her about being suicidal. She's been very helpful throughout it. I was even told I can pay in advance from now on, so I don't have to worry about it later.
Why did Logan Paul go to the suicide forest?
To see who's hanging around.
I don’t know what’s worse: Finding bucket loads of porn on my dad’s laptop, or finding out he was in all of them.
Why are feminists always against men?
Because men can piss with something that they can't: piss with dicks.