Worst Jokes Ever
Have you seen the Woody Allen v Mia Farrow series on HBO? If you like details about child molestation without having to do it yourself, boy do I have the show for you!
Aiden's the best, in any contest, and no matter what, he'll kick your butt!
What did one cheese say to the other cheese?
"Hello, it's a nice day, do you have any plans on what you're going to do?"... The other cheese was taken back by his politeness and friendliness, they agreed to meet again, and were soon married and lived happily ever after. Let this tale of the two cheeses inspire you to be a better person.
I have a brother and he told me this quote, "No wonder they had a second child, they messed up on the first one." He’s the second child... I’m the first...
Why did the poop cross the street? Because it was trying to get in the toilet.
Hi, I did not get your text. I texted you when I texted you. You are not [responding].
Why is the chicken that crossed the road a cannibal? Because he went to KFC.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where home is.
I'm Batman.
Why don’t orphans play football?
They have no home field.
Little Johnny is walking in the hallway and goes in his brother's room and catches him watching something, so he asks, "What you watching?" His brother replies, "Nothing," and drops his phone. But then he gets a text from his teacher, who texted him a picture of her naked, saying, "After school come fuck me." So Johnny looks and says, "Ew, I'm telling Mom," and he ran with his brother's phone and showed his mom, and his mom said, "Ok, Johnny, I'll take care of you brother," and she told him to leave, and he did.
And his brother ran in his mom's room naked, and his mom said, "Oh, that's big. How about you do what your teacher told you to do to her, to me?" And a few hours later, Johnny heard weird noises coming from the room, so he walked in and saw them (his brother and mom) having sex, so he closed the door and walked away.
Q. What do rape victims miss?
A. Part of their brain.
You were tricked, loser. ;]
Your hairline's so far back, you need binoculars to see it.
Why did Michael Jackson run?
Because he lost his glove.
How do you get a depressed girl to suck your dick?
Pour bleach on it.
A man walked into a toilet and saw a woman fingering a man and said, "I think you're doing it wrong." Turns out it was two transvestites.
What do you call an Indian person who is not starving? Dead.
Why doesn't Helen Keller's boyfriend like having sex with her?
'Cause she just lies there like she's dead.
I'm gonna open up a bar for emos.
I think I'll call it "The Cutting Board."