Worst Jokes Ever
Me lol.
Why can't orphans exit out of their games? They don't have a home button.
Why can't orphans have cereal? Because their dad didn't come back with the milk.
Why do orphans not like July 24th??
Because it's Parents Day.
You're so tall you can go see God, but you're so tall your balls got small.
What's an orphan's favorite toy? A boomerang, because it comes back.
There's a kid with loads of new firemen equipment and sees a fire engine go past and the kid asks the firemen, "Come have a look at my new gear." So the firemen go look at his gear, so then the kid says:
"I've got a helmet, a big jacket, and an oxygen tank, and a little wheelbarrow for my gear."
Firemen say: "Why is there a rope tied around a cat's balls?"
The kid says, "So I can have a siren nnnnnnnnnnneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwweeeeeeeeeeennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn"
Guys, we need to stop telling orphan jokes, they're gonna tell their parents. Oh wait, never mind, continue.
What did one candle say to the other?
"Want to go out tonight?"
I wish I was at a Western bar; then I would get shot.
Why do orphans love role-plays?
Because they can call someone "daddy."
Me: Do you like smash?
Friend: Smash Rolls?
Me: No, Smash DEEZ NUTS!
Friend: AHHHHH (*moans)
I saw my sister sucking a big toe.
What do Emos say when they trick-or-treat?
"Boo-hoo!"
What Lord of the Rings book is banned from the United States?
The Two Towers.
Your hairline is so back when the police saw it, they had to arrest you.
"Hey, man, do you have any Ben and Jerry's?"
"Yeah, I have two of them, fresh and preserved in the freezer."
"I meant the ice cream, bro..."
In the cute fantasies: "Est-ce que tu manges du poulet? Attendez une seconde, VOTRE PROFESSEUR VEGAN!!!!!"
In reality: "Are you eating chicken? Wait a second, YOUR THE VEGAN TEACHER!!!"
Today, I saw my friend go crazy eating her ham sandwich. When she went to the bathroom, I checked inside her ham sandwich, and there were fresh drugs.
When I have a staring contest, I always win.
Every day, I see blind people who hate me.