What does Osama bin Laden have in common with Spongebob?
Both can be found at the bottom of the sea, filled full of holes.
Worst Jokes Ever
My friend said he wanted to die, and I told him not to jump. But when he screamed, "Hi, I'm Johnny Knoxville, and welcome to Jackass!" I knew it was over.
Why can't a kid with ADHD shoot a gun?
Their focus is always off.
Me: *Meets girl, starts to form crush* Me after I get enough courage to talk to her: “Are you a casket lid because I want you on top of me?”
“What do you call my friend group?” “Suicide Squad.”
People complain we are overpopulated.
Well, then if we committed suicide, then why do they be sad? It's one less person to think about. Why complain about it when in the end we become sad people?
What 3 words started Jeffery Dahmer's cannibalism?
This isn't ketchup.
How do you know when your sister is on her period? When your dad's cock tastes of blood.
Everyone's had a mind-blowing day before, just ask JFK.
What do you call a physically handicapped heterosexual man that is in a wheelchair and German?
A physically handicapped promiscuous heterosexual man that is German.
I can do a very good Michael Jackson impersonation. I just need a kid who can keep a secret.
My autistic son hates taking baths or showers.
I don’t blame him, I don’t like soggy vegetables either.
What do you call physically handicapped, homophobic, heterosexual men and women in wheelchairs?
Mixed nuts.
What do I call a white person with 15 black kids?
Coach.
What do the initials NOW stand for?
(A.) National Organization For Women
(B.) National Organization of Whores
(C.) All the above
Answer:
Since the initials NOW can stand for anything, the correct answer is all the above.
I told a blind man to read more, so he grabbed my arm and read the whole dictionary.
Before Marriage Boy: At last, I can hardly wait! Girl: Do you want me to leave? Boy: No, don't even think about it! Girl: Do you love me? Boy: Of course, always! Girl: Have you ever cheated on me? Boy: No, why are you asking? Girl: Will you kiss me? Boy: Every chance I get! Girl: Will you slap me? Boy: Hell nah, you crazy!! Girl: Can I trust you? Boy: Yeah girl! Girl: Oh Honeyyy😍
After Marriage Now, read that from the bottom to the top.
Why can't orphans play poker? Because they don't know what a full house is.
The only thing brighter than my future is the fire on the World Trade Center.
In jail, why is the white guy scarier than the black guy? Because the white guy actually did something.
What is the world's greatest invention? The ball gag, do you know why? Honestly, officer, I never heard her say no.