Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

Guys, my girlfriend calls me: "911, help! There’s a strange man in my room and I think he’s on drugs!"

She’s so nice.

Even if you do burn down an orphanage, it's not gonna matter. It's not like they have homes.

When you hit a speed bump in a school zone and then you remember there are no speed bumps.

Listen, Man United might not thank me but get the contract out, put it on the table. Let him sign it, let him write whatever numbers he wants to put on there, given what he's done since he's come in. Ole's at the wheel, man. He's doing it. He's doing his thing. Man United are BACK.

Who would win in a race, Stephen Hawking or a turtle?

The turtle, because it can walk.

What do Batman and a Black man have in common?

Answer: They can't go anywhere without Robin.

There are women complaining about being r@ped.

JUST DON'T GO NEAR DARK ALLEYS WITH A SPORTS BRA ON. 😁

My girlfriend is so fat that when she runs or walks, she falls, so I am breaking up with you.

🙍🏼‍♀️Fat girlfriend: Nooo, don’t leave me, catch me, ahhh!

🙇🏼‍♀️Fat girlfriend falls on boyfriend: Ahhhhhh *dump*

🙇🏼‍♀️🙇🏼Fat girlfriend and boyfriend: Fat girlfriend: U didn’t catch me wawawawa. Boyfriend: Get off me, 900 pounds, ugh, I hate u!

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