Worst Jokes Ever
Grass is green. I am the queen. If only I can see you scream on the screen.
Things that rhyme with green, queen, screen: clean, between, been, ...
A guy was doing bad things and died and went to hell.
Demon: Why you sad?
Guy: I’m in hell, can’t you see?
Demon: Well, we have fun here at hell.
Guy: Really? Nice.
Demon: We do sleeping in on Mondays.
Guy: OoOoOo
Demon: Tuesdays we swim in our lava or dive in fire. If you die, you’re already dead ☠️
Guy: Ok, does that mean I’m a ghost?
Demon: No, you're not a ghost.
Demon: Wednesdays we do a dance party and smoke and drink 🍺
Guy: Ooooooo, I can’t wait 😜
Demon: Thursdays we drink all day until we throw up and die, and you're already dead, remember that?
Guy: Ok, but I am dead, and if I die again, I was already dead, right?
Demon: Yup.
Demon: I have a question: Are you gay, and do you like kissing fire girls, and if you die, you are already dead?
Guy: Ummm, I am not gay, and I don’t like kissing fire girls 😱😱😱
Demon: Then you won’t like Friday or Saturday or Sunday, heheh.
Guy: I’m dead for real in the hell 🪦🏴☠️☠️☠️💀
Hell helll helll R.I.P hell is gone for now.
What is 8 divided by 2?
Answer: 3 (you cut 8 in half).
People with bipolar...............k2iojvjaiohoaehfbsjhfpoqwurp.
Give me followers instantly!
What did God say to the good shepherd?
Nothing.
Your hairline is so big, not even a black hole can eat it!
I think democracy is a scam. I love men and I love you. I love men and I love you. I love my dog. He won't sleep inside and I shitted my pants. I peed my pants. I smell bad. I took a shower and my dog was like, "Oh my god." I was like, "Oh." I was like, "Oh my god," and then I was like, "I shitted again" and he was like, "Bark bark," cause he's a dog. Thanks for listening.
What has two legs, two arms, one dead and covered in red?
My ex-wife.
Q: Why do women only use their lefts?
A: Because they don't have any rights.
My girlfriend broke up with me, so I stole her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back!
Your dad is gone.
Dude: Hey dude guess who I am?
Viewers: Dora.
Trump: No, I am President Trump.
Viewers: Why are you wearing Dora’s clothes and backpack?
Trump: Today we are going to build a wall.
Viewers: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
What is an orange cucumber?
A carrot, duh!
Your eyebrows could make the bushes outside feel jealous.
When an orphan takes a selfie, it's a family photo.
Guys, can you like my jokes, please?
When you get home and see your parents with your grades in their hands.
Twenty minutes later, they're slapping you with the belt.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? Apples get picked.
Q: What’s the difference between orphans and apples?
A: Apples get picked.