What do clams do on their birthday? They shell a brat.
Worst Jokes Ever
Q. What’s the only good thing about child molesters?
A. They drive slow through school zones.
Yo momma's legs are like cottage cheese: white and chunky.
Yo momma's so dirty that when I asked what was for dinner, she sat on the table, opened her legs, and said "Crabs."
People are arguing about stopping orphan jokes.
Me: m e h. i d o n t c a r e.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not your dad.
Pulp is a palindrome.
. --... -. -...--.
Here's a joke: Your life decisions.
Why am I dumb?
Because I’m dumb.
The smartest kid in my class says "is-land" instead of "island."
I could tell a joke about pizza, but it's too cheesy.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Grounded beef.
There are three people on the steps of Heaven. God tells them all he is having a good day and if they make him laugh by telling him how they died, he will let them in.
The first one said, "I just finished a long day of work and I get home, and right as I stepped in, I knew my wife was cheating on me. I searched everywhere and I couldn’t find anybody, so I got a drink and went to the balcony, and then I saw him, hanging off the ledge of the balcony. I kicked his hands, but he wouldn’t fall, so I threw a Refrigerator at him, and I fell with the Refrigerator."
God busted out laughing and let him in.
The next person walked up and God told him the same thing he told the other person. God told him that he didn’t think that he could make him laugh more than the first person. The second guy said, "So get this, I’m a window washer on the 8th floor. I’m washing the windows like normal, and this enraged psychopath walks up and starts kicking my hands, and then he throws a refrigerator at me and I die."
God bursts out laughing so much to where he falls off his chair, and he lets the guy through. The next guy comes up and God tells him the same thing he told the last two people, and he tells him that there is no way that he can make him laugh more than the other two did. So he starts talking. "So get this, I’m in a refrigerator..."
What did one butt say to the other?
Something brown is slithering down.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
I did.
I did who?
You did a poo.
Má ég fara heim?
(In an infant-esque voice.)
Why is Daisy afraid of candles?
Watch my videos and find out!!! 🤸♀️🕯📷💰😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈
Do you know Joe?
Joe mama, mama, a, a, mama, a, a, amam.
Are you the sun? I can see you from a mile away.
"Why is your head big?"
"'Cause you're a ball."
Why did the teenage girls travel in odd-numbered groups?
Because they can't get even.