Worst Jokes Ever
What is a Russian joke?
Something that will be funny for Russian people.
What is big, black, and hairy? It's a gorilla with a machine gun.
I told my wife her eyebrows were too high.
She looked surprised.
Abortion is not murder; it's canceling a pre-order.
Your forehead is so big, I thought you were Megamind for a second there.
What can't play home in baseball? They don't have one.
What do you call a fake noodle? Impasta.
Paul Walker.
Why is Trump always in debt? His university isn't paid off yet!
Trump cheated so much he cheated himself out of an election!
Q: What can't teachers say to orphans?
A: "I'm calling your parents!"
Why do we tell actors to break a leg?
Because every show has a cast. Get it, LOL?
Hey, do you remember that dragon thing?
Draggin' these balls across your face.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where home is.
Q: Why do we tell actors to “break a leg?”
A: Because every play has a cast.
Everyone has a good heart; they just don't know what to do with it. I say give someone some love. Hate is sooooo stupid. Love is soooo smart!
Me: Sorry I couldn’t make it to school yesterday, I had an appointment.
Teacher: What kind of appointment?
Me: I had an appointment with a cut day. 😈😈😈
True story.
When a girl was having an asthma attack, Ariana said, "Just keep breathing and breathing and breathin!!!!!"
When you are sleeping in class and the shooter sees you, then they wake you up and say, "Let’s team up," like, what the f*ck?
They say there is power in numbers.
Tell that to the people in the Twin Towers.