Worst Jokes Ever
What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?
*Aye, Matey!*
The only time that cows will make noise is when they are in the moooo-d.
How do bees get to school? On a school buzz.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t run home.
So one time I was looking up the definition of "accident" because I was a little dumbo and didn’t know what it meant. Then my sister walks up behind me and points at the word and says, “That’s you!” (meaning that I was an accident).
A few minutes later, we had a big family meeting and my dad said to my sister, “Sweetie, you were an accident. We didn’t mean to make you, but we still love you with everything we’ve got.”
My sister never talked to me again and left the house. She was 17 when she left. Seriously, 17-year-olds just never mature, huh?
Hi 👋 I love you!
What do you call two homeless people throwing rocks at each other?
A pillow fight.
They say Trump got impeached, but he is an orange.
I was watching TV with my brother, and a diabetes commercial came on saying, "I have type one diabetes, and I manage it well."
My brother said, "You want a cookie?"
What is Michael Jackson's favorite fruit?
Boisenberry.
Man, this walk is really good. Oh wait, you can't.
What do noodles and women have in common? They both wiggle when you eat them.
Why don’t women wear mini skirts in the winter?
Because they’ll get chapped lips.
How does a blind person wipe their ass?
With braille toilet paper.
I have a joke about suicide, but I’ll just let it hang.
Alcohol is a perfect solvent: It dissolves marriages, families, and careers.
How do you know your sister’s on her period? Your sister pussy taste funny
Why can't Jesus eat M&Ms?
They'll fall right through his hands.
Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? Because he had no body to go with.
How can Batman defeat the Joker? A: With a handful of sleeping pills.