Worst Jokes Ever
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
Make them clap until their parents come back.
What do you call James Bond when he’s taking a bath?
Bubble 07.
Republicans really want weed not to be legal, fucking cunts!
Why does an orphan go to a spelling bee?
So they can spell "home."
What goes in small and soft?
And comes out big and hard?
A tea bag.
Why is the queen the most powerful piece in chess?
Because the board looks like a kitchen floor.
I cried when Dad cut onions. Onions was such a good dog.
What do you call a kid going fast on a wheelchair?
Hot Wheels.
The parentless child stood as her orphanage was blown up by a kamikaze I had rented.
What do orphans get at restaurants?
The family meal.
Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
Their dad did not come back with the milk.
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"The FBI."
"The FBI who?"
"Are you dumb? It's the f#cking FBI, now open up!"
Teacher: What’s the closest planet?
Kids yell: Sun.
Except for one.
Other kid: Uranus.
Teacher: Uranus?
Other kid: Yeah, it’s right there.
How does a penguin (however you spell it) build a house? Igloos it together!
Why can't orphans open a family business?
Because there is no family.
Why did the loo 🚽 roll roll down the stairs? To get to the bottom.
What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
My dad is John Cena because I can't see him.
Sister: Hey sis, how are you today?
Me: Oh, good, you?
Sister: Good, 'cause I heard you finally got a good living life.
What do you call a cow's facial hair?
A moostache.
You know what is the worst mistake every human being made?
Answer: Living.