I got a call from NASA. They’ve reached your hairline.
Worst Jokes Ever
Why did the butt let out a fart?
Answer: To wipe out humanity!
I'm autistic, and I find these so funny.
Last time Kenny ate a vegetable, he got banned from his mom's nursing home.
Your mama so fat that when she went to McDonald's, they said, "Sorry, you've had enough, ma'am."
Why did the dog cross the road?
To get to the barking lot.
So, my mom looked in the mirror today, and we need a new one.
Who did the bee 🐝 marry?
Her honey!
What if plants are farming us, giving us oxygen until we die, and turn into natural fertilizer which helps them?
Why do orphans like belts?
They remind them of their father.
My name is Giselle.
Why don’t spiders go back to school?
Because they learn everything on the web.
I have more cum in one testicle than you have in your whole penis.
When the school shooter is about to leave the school, and then the autistic kid screams, "Hooray!"
Why did the chicken cross the road to get to the chicken coop?
Dad: Come on, David, go dress up like a girl.
David: Isn't that illegal?
Dad: Nah, it isn't illegal if you keep the buttons in.
David: I hate my life.
What do you call a sad strawberry?
A blueberry!
(classic)
My boyfriend thinks he’s hilarious.
Him: How do you break things?
Me: You break things up.
Him: Okay.
Me: Is everything okay?
Him: We’re a twig. We’re breaking up.
I wrote a song about a tortilla.
Actually, it’s more of a wrap.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't find home.