Worst Jokes Ever

The walking dead.

What's green and bad for your teeth?

A green brick.

What's blue and bad for your teeth?

A green brick that's painted blue after the original paint dries (it takes a little while to dry), but after it dries you can paint it and then it will be green. If the brick is green it is called a green brick as it is green (not blue anymore) and it hurts your teeth because brick is a hard material that can damage the bones in your mouth (also known as your teeth).

A man went hunting with his son and shot an animal.

The father asks the son to identify the animal he just shot, and the son answers: "Holy Cow!"

Father: "What do you mean, 'Holy Cow?'"

Son: "You shot a hole in the cow, of course!"

Helen Keller walks into a bar... and a table... and a chair... and a wall.

What's a building's first crush? A plane.

You and your sister always get into a fight and she says, "I don't care." Then you say right away, "About you!"

Your sister is so stupid, she only thinks an onion will make people cry.

So I threw a coconut at her.

Why can't orphans play baseball? They can't run home.

I've been drinking from a tall cup.

His teeth look like Twin Towers, Al-Qaeda blown him up.

I'm going to burn Braden Mitchell Kniffen's house down.

How do you make an emo mad at you?

Cut the rope.

Did you see that car crash today where the guy got the entire left side of his body cut off?

He's all right now.

Why do orphans say, "Go big or go home?"

So that way they feel important.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He had to finish his essay, or the teacher was gonna whoop his fat butt cheeks!

I made a website for an orphan.

It had no homepage.

Me when the your, uh, uhhhh, when your me when the your, uhhh, uhhhhh, mom.

What do you call it when you sell Panera Bread in your shed?

Panera Shed.

I got sent to the principal's office today because I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire and screamed, "HOT WHEELS!"

I told my wife to embrace her mistakes.

So she gave me a hug.