Worst Jokes Ever

Did you know emo kids are the highest jumpers in the world? Some are still up there!

Why couldn't an eagle do a barrel roll? It's oblivious, it's il-eagle.

You wanna hear a construction joke?

I'm still workin' on it!

My girlfriend is growing watermelons, not in the ground though (we had fun that night)!

Why can't Oregon go to the doctor?

Because they need parents' signature.

Who can jump the highest?

Emos, some of them are still falling.

What's Osama Bin Laden's favorite drink?

A double Manhattan.

McDonald's has a drive through.

Twin Towers has a fly through.

I got in trouble in school today. The teacher said, "I'm gonna call your parents!"

I said, "Let me know when you find them." <3

Why was the emo jealous of the orange?

It came precut.

What is a kid's favorite thing to do with their dad?

Play pretend dog in the bed.

I rate it 9/11.

Jacob likes fucking me and my mom.

Can emo kids get happy meals?

Chef: “How did you enjoy your steak, sir?”

Customer: “I asked for it medium rare, but it’s well done!”

Chef: “Why thank you.”

Customer: “You don’t understand, the steak is well done!”

Chef: “Of course it is, I made it.”

Think about how many more girls we guys could get if we talked to them how we talk to other guys, like when they say, "Can I borrow a pencil?" You say, "You can borrow this hard wood dick."

I am cool.

(Phone call) This is Frank's funeral home and grill, where yesterday's grief is today's beef. How may we help you?

I was going to post a Kobe Briant joke, but the site crashed.

Last night I shared a bed with two of my friends because we were in a small hotel. We had strange dreams last night.

My friend on the left dreamed of getting a handjob.

So did my friend on the right.

I had a dream of skiing.