Worst Jokes Ever

Should I kill the main character's best friends in my book? It's an autobiography.

What age is served for breakfast?

If a woman says she needs to set boundaries between you and her, you would be crossing it if you are a Mexican.

What were the webs?

What do you call a door that bells? A doorbell.

When I hotline bling, I only need one thing.

You're pretty, pretty dumb.

What do you call Hitler when he gets thrown?

A gas grenade.

What does Amy Rose like? Blue balls.

So Fred accidentally cut off John's ear with his spade.

John and Fred were digging a ditch when Fred made a careless swipe with his spade and cut off John's ear.

"Help me find it in all this mud," said John. "If we find it, they can sew it back on."

After a couple of minutes, Fred triumphantly shouted, "Here it is," handing the ear to John.

"That's not it," said John, throwing the ear back into the muddy ditch. "Mine had a pencil behind it!"

Your hairline is an artificial fact.

"(My beard actually connects.)" "Like the connection you never had with your father."

Your money, you bully's everything you hate.

Bin Laden's relatives died in a plane crash on 8/1! #justice

Me: Knock, knock.

Another person (OP): OP: Who's there? Me: Hatch. OP: Hatch who? Me: Bless you =) OP: But I didn't sneeze. Me: You just don't get a joke, do you?

"Ring Ring! Hi, I've been needing to call you. Your hairline has been found by Dora after 25 years!"

Your momma so fat when she stepped on one scale, it broke. When she got another one, it said "TBC." She looked in the mirror, it broke.

Did you know that Stephen Hawking's death was an accident because he pressed "shut down" instead of "sleep mode?"

Your children grew up faster than it took you to leave for the milk.

What did MLK Jr. say when he spent the night on the internet?

"Last night I had a meme."