Tooth jokes

Why did the penguin pull out a tooth? It was Mexican.

How do you knockout an unorthodox blue tooth?

You get a good connection.

What's a little white dot on a priest's dick? A baby tooth.

Your teeth are so yellow they slow down traffic.

Tooth 1: Hey, do you like my jokes?

Tooth 2: Yeah, but they're cracking me up.

What do dentists call their x-rays?

Tooth pics.

What did the chocolate dentist say to the other chocolate dentist? Did you "chip" a tooth?

What time are most dentist appointments? Tooth hurty.

Dad: What time do you wanna go to the dentist?

Daughter: *tooth hurty*

Dad: All right.

How do you give a woman from Alabama a nice compliment?

Answer: You say to her, "Hey, nice tooth!"

Q. What do you call a bear with no teeth?

A. A gummy bear.

One day, Johnny told his dad that a girl in his class liked him. He thought she was cute. She said, "Aw, you're like candy!" He didn't say anything. He said, "Why don't you think I am sweet like candy?" Little Johnny said, "Well, sometimes I get a toothache, and it hurts, so I stop eating it, like I stopped liking you."

What did the German Shepherd dog say to Hitler?

"Mein Führer ist steckenbleiben in meinen Zähnen."

I told my friend that there was a tree. On that tree, there were four black chickens. I asked how many beaks do the chickens have. He said four.

Then I said there was a white cat. How many teeth does it have? He couldn't answer, so I said, "Looks like you know more about black cocks than white pussy."

What do you call a person who's got their wisdom tooth removed too late?

Dumb.

There once were 3 men on an airplane and one bit into an apple and said, "This is disgusting!" and threw it out the window. The 2nd man bit into a banana and said, "This is rotten!" and he threw it out the window. The 3rd man bit into a bomb and screamed, "ALL MY TEETH FELL OUT!" and he threw it out the window.

Meanwhile, on the ground, a police officer was walking and he saw a kid crying and he went up to him and asked him why he was crying. He replied, "An apple came flying out of the sky and hit me on the head!" The police officer said, "That is weird," and kept on walking. Then he saw another kid crying and the police officer asked, "Why are you crying?" and he answered, "A banana came flying out of the sky and hit me on the head!" The officer said, "This has been a strange day." Then he sees a kid laughing and he asked why he was laughing and he said, while he was laughing, "My dad farted and the house blew up!"

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

Tork Poettschke says to Charles Bukowski: "You have beautiful teeth! Are they also available in white?"

What do you call a vagina with teeth?

A vicious cunt.

(I want to apologize in advance. These are very dark jokes.)

What’s red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

I was going to tell a dead baby joke, but I decided to abort.

Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? His wife is dead.

Why does Helen Keller hate porcupines? They’re painful to look at.

Why can’t orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.

Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes. The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked off with her cardboard box.

My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children. If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.