Took jokes
John took a bath with bubbles.
Bubbles was a man.
Bob the builder took one look at you and said, "Nah, I can’t fix that!"
I went to a restaurant and a waiter took my order. She had two black eyes, so I ordered real slow.
Because obviously she doesn’t listen.
Your computer just went in my bathroom and took a shit because you put too much chili in the bowl.
Why didn’t the orphan play baseball?
Because I took the bat and swung it at their kneecaps, and now they can’t run. What are they going to do, tell their parents?
Yo mama so fat, it took your dad eight years to come back with the milk.
Ryan: Mother, if you had 10 cookies, and I took 4 away from you, how much do you have?
Mother: I will still have ten cookies, because I will not give any to you.
Ryan: What if I forcefully take 4 cookies away from you?
Mother: I will have 10 cookies and a dead body.
Ryan and his mother had cookies that day. Ryan took all 10 cookies. He was never seen again. R.I.P Ryan.
Alicia was not a popular girl. None of the guys noticed her. Once she got a boyfriend, but then he cheated on her with Katy and said, "You're not sexy enough, Katy is much hotter."
So Alicia took a match, set herself on fire, and screamed, "THIS GIRL IS ON FIRE!"
And then she died.
Last Christmas, I took a picture of your mom.
It's still printing.
Why does New York have the Jets as their football team if those are what took out the Twin Towers?
Did you hear they just took Biden to the hospital?
No, what happened?
He couldn’t stop pootin!
I'm still wondering who took Jesus' sandals.
Even the one who ate that dove that sat at Jesus' shoulder. 🤔
I complained to my dad why he never took me to the zoo.
He said if they want you, they’ll come get you.
Don't take my posts seriously, take them like your ex took you—as a joke.
Yo Mama is so fat that Nationwide took nine years to get on her side.
I was looking forward to some toast...
So I took the toaster in the bath with me.
I tried my best to think of some puns, but I'm gonna have tibia honest: I don't have any puns left, but I'm pretty sternum, so I'll think of a few puns here and there. It took a lot of spine to do this.
What happened when the teacher tied all the students' shoe laces together?
They took a class trip.
I took my son to a driver's school and am surprised because he got his license but soon lost the privilege to drive a car because he ran over my ex on "accident."
(I gotta go pay him out of jail!)
Me: I'm retarded.
Teacher: Why?
Me: It took me 2 hours to see "60 Minutes."