There are three people in a plane that is about to crash: Trump, Obama, and a nine-year-old girl, but only two parachutes. Obama says, "Oh my, I need one. I need to protect my family," so he jumps off! Trump says, "Oh, I am the smartest man in the world. I must take it," so he jumps off. The nine-year-old girl says, "Welp, I guess he took my school backpack" :) so she leaves the plane! What a good ending.
Your computer just went in my bathroom and took a shit because you put too much chilli in the bowl.
I just took a orange soda bath this morning the next i knew it turn out to be a river of orange kist.
This morning I woke up, then took a bath with some chocolate mud. At first, when I turned the damn flossers on, I noticed it wasn't water. It was all chocolate mud, and now my body is all chocolatey.
I asked my mom to make me a brat. She was sleepy but I said do it anyway. My mom and my dad had fucked last night so he was on the couch but naked. She took a knife and sliced his dick, then put it on a bun, then ketchup and mustard. I said this tasted funny. She was snoring, then I threw it and said, "EW IS THIS A DICK WHAT THE FUCK AHHH!!!!?!?!!!!"
Ever since that day, they haven't fucked again because he ain't got nun to fuck with.
I found a child on the street homeless and they were really nice so I took them Ho,e then I said who's better Biden or trump they said they support trump they r now dead in my basement and have been for 3 years
I was walking home, then I saw a "Wait" sign. A man came and took me. I'm still waiting for him to ask for a lesson.
I was making sandcastles with my Nan, then my mum came in the room and took away the urn.
Little red riding hood has to deliver food to her gramma again. She can drive now because she is sixteen. One the way, she accidentally took the wrong way and got to a different forest where her gramma lives now. She found the wrong cottage that looked liked her gramma's home. When she opened the door, she found her younger and older sisters of ages 9, 11, 18, and 22. How old is Little red riding hood?
Answer:16
My kids so dam bad.we took them to Disney in Florida.they paid me not to bring them back ever.
One night, I saw a woman sitting behind a dumpster. So I took her home. We talked all the way there. When we got home, I gave her a bath. Later on, things started getting passionate. We started doing intercourse, and some of the noises she made you would have thought she was still alive!
Whoever took my dildo,
I hope you're having a good time.
Whoever took my anti-depressant pills,
I hope you're fucking happy.
Me and my girlfriend broke up, so I took her wheelchair, and she came crawling back.
So, I took a poop outside. When I was done, I wiped and got it on my finger. After that, I had Nutella, and I thought the poop on my hand was Nutella, and I licked it. I said, "Daddy chill, what in the heck is this crap?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Last Christmas, I took a picture of your mom.
It's still printing.
there was a man he took a right he took another right he took a last right why did he stop
I was looking forward to some toast...
So I took the toaster in the bath with me.
Someone broke into my house and took my anti-depressants... I hope they're happy now.
I took my mother-in-law out yesterday God being a sniper is so fun
