What did the orphan get for Christmas? Lego figures from his friend but they ran way too.
People always ask what the secret of our families happiness is. It is simple really. 1 Television and computer games are limited to a couple of hours each week. 2. We all give each other a hand when needed. Last but not least we play twister.
A little boy and a little girl are taking a bath together. The little girl looks down at the boy and says, "Can I touch it?". The little boy looks back at her and says, "Hell no, you already broke yours off!".
I saw two men wearing the same clothing and walking together, so I asked both of them if they were gay. They did not hesitate arresting me after I said that.
Someone glued my deck of cards together. I don't know how to deal with it.
My mom is the jelly and my dad is the peanut butter And I am the bread the only thin keeping them together.
What did one buttcheek say to the other buttcheek Together we can stop this shit
Rizz
Are you a basketball hoop? 'Cause I want to put my balls in you. Are you a photo biographer? 'Cause I can picture us together.
A girl and boy are in bed after sex. The boy goes “I can’t believe they got together after all that shit” girl says “who” boy goes “ my ass cheeks”
What did the priest say to the other in the orphanage?
"Let us prey together."
A boy and a girl are showering together. The girl looks down and says to the boy, "Hey, can I touch it?".The boy replies, "Oh hell nah. You already ripped yours off.".
My wife and I watched The Perfect Murder together. Excellent movie, but what disturbed me though was my wife constantly taking notes.
What did one deperesed kid say to the other? Hey wanna hang together.
Can all the hot depressed, suicidal, guys just text me so we can meet up and cry together about how depressed we r. For real
I got some new jeans yesterday, until I realised they didn't fit me around the waist so I went looking for a belt. I couldn't find one. Then I had a really good idea. I could attach a ton of watches together to make a belt! But then I just thought it was a waist of time.
Micheal Jackson and Tonya Harding got together back in the day for a horse racing venture..Tonya says.."I'll handle the handicapping, you go ride the 3 year olds"
What did the left butt cheek say to the right butt cheek? "Together we can stop this s**t!"
Why is Kanye West's haircut actually years of work by many doctors to piece together skull fragments like a jigsaw puzzle? Because Kanye once interrupted Chuck Norris on the set of "Walker Texas Ranger"
What does furrys and fastfood lovers have together? They both love hot dogs
How does a penguin build its house?
Igloos it together!
