Little Timmy is hanging out with Rapunzel and he mentions Hugo and a few other characters from Varian And The Seven Kingdoms and she responds with “who the frick are you talking about, since I don’t know them I got a surprise for you” she wraps him up in Christmas wrapping paper labeled For Eugene
The mom: "Where did Timmy go after exploring that minefield across the road, honey?"
The dad: "Everywhere."
Teacher: Hey Timmy (the quiet kid) what comes after x The Quiet kid: splosion Teacher: What comes after A The Quiet kid: K-47 Teacher: faints
how do you know you've found a priest? when little Timmy is glued to his crotch
a kid named timmy said to his dad that he had sex with his teacher and his dad was proud of him and gave him a bike and the kid said i cant use it my butt hurts
Shit if somebody invades America the Crips and the Bloods are gonna call a truce so that they can get the big toys out and call Geneva achievement. White women would ride into battle riding lions, tigers, and bears while claymore-strapped rhumbas swept the streets. There's a reason Putin keeps threatening to boom boom us with the boom booms and make you see x-rays before you go go. We have freaking cannibals still. Hell, we have more guns than people. Dodging bullets have become a rite of passage. Just look at how we raise our kids on caffeine and M16s playing Call of Duty. Then we send them into the warzone known as the American public education system with no weapons. No means to protect themselves other than with their fists. Here Timmy, fight off the bullets with your bare fist and hope you can zig-zag. Hell, the quiet kids in this country start dropping bodies just cause you teased them. The fuck you think's gonna happen when Timmy can't get his damn chicken nuggets and you took his internet out? Hell the gangs in America would no longer make their money off the drugs illegally. They'd be our medics and taking bets on kill shots. Don't even get me started on the unhinged millennials the moment they can't get their mood stabilizers. War crimes would become an art form and we'd run around like we playing Pokemon. GOTTA CATCH 'EM ALL! Americans would turn war crimes into an extreme sport while the military stands back and records it just so they can show the rest of the world the example of why not to fuck with us. Shit Geneva Convention would turn into a to-do list on every American household fridge. We take that shit so seriously we'd have comedy central sending Kevin Hart to tell us rules for engagement. Racism in America would be single-handedly by ended as Billy Bob and Tyrone high five because they think they just unlocked the super secret duck hunt level with foreign paratroopers. Shit somebody please threaten us with a good time. Invade the united states. Let us show you why the first color in our flag is red.
Timmy Turner- I wish the Vegan Teacher was a cheeseburger
Wanda- Ok Timmy
Timmy- Cosmo bring her to me
Cosmo- here you go Timmy
*Timmy eats Miss Kadie
Timmy had 66 toys he said it was 2 many (662) so he gave it to Mr. Divide he gave 21 equals flip it over! It’s weird
What does an apple company and an orphanage have that are different. Apples actually get picked.... Unlike little Timmy here.... He’s been here for 16 years..
Timmy: stupid motherfucker Jimmy: wow, do you kiss your mother with that mouth Timmy: starts crying Jimmy: ah fuck I did it again
What did John say to little timmy! Happy Disable day
One day Timmy walks in on his mum in the bath. Then he asks “What’s that dark fuzzy thing, mummy?” and mum said “It’s a bush, every girl has one!” Then the next day he walks in on his dad in the shower. So he asks “Daddy, what’s that long thing?” The dad then says “It’s a sexy boy” accidentally. Timmy asks his dad “What does sexy mean?” And the dad says “Your mother, of course.” making it seem like a child-friendly compliment. Then the next day at school Timmy wanted to compliment his teacher. He walks up to her and says “You’re so so sexy!”
Bully: her little Timmy you look like a ugly rat. Timmy: well at least I'm a good chef and I'm in a movie unlike you. Bully: dies from embarrassment 😱
Dad: no Timmy, you don't have to worry, there is no monster sleeping under your bed, it sleeps every night in the bed next to me.
A teacher is teaching a class algebra. Timmy you've worked out it is ak but what is 59 minis 12. Timmy shakes his head not knowing the teacher asks how about ak 49 minus 2? Timmy replies with um... The teacher becomes frustrated and yells What comes after ak Timmy!? The white kid at the back stands shouts 47 and pulls the trigger.
Little Johnny is in class one day and little Timmy starts laughing. The teacher says what's so funny? He said I can see your bra strap. The teacher says don't come back to class for a week, so he get up and walked out. A few minutes later little Billy starts laughing, and she ask what's funny now? Little Billy said I can see both of your bra straps. The teacher says get out of my class room for a month. So little Billy got pissed he walked out and slammed the door, this scared the teacher and she dropped the chalk. She picked it up then she stood back up and she sees little Johnny walking out of the classroom. She asked where do you think your going? He said well teach after what I saw I'm done with school for a lifetime.
Why did little Timmy dip the cookie in water? “ Because his dad never brought the milk.”
Dad: What did you learn in school today?
Timmy: Not enough, I guess, ‘cus I gotta go back tomorrow.
A kindergarten class is learning about the alphabet. The teacher asked, "What comes after M?" Little Timmy reached into his backpack and yelled "16!"
Myla what did you do for fathers day Myla: i went to a restaurant Timmy what did you do for fathers day Timmy: i went to a concert Olivia what did you do for fathers day Olivia: talked to him through an ouija board
