Every time a midget runs on the grass, the grass tickles their balls.
Sorry I got joke wrong the first time
Why can’t orphan learn about the ancient times because they don’t know what a mummy is
Why can't people in wheelchairs be gay? Cuz u can't be a fruit and a vegetable at the same time.
there was a kid in my class who said my face looked like a physical reaction (we were learning about that stuff at the time) so i said i made a chemical reaction with his mom last night reaction with
A limbless man sat on the side of a lake everyday. He had no hands or no legs. One day he was crying when a woman was walking by and saw that he was upset, so she asked if he was okay. He replied, "No." The woman said, "Well, what's wrong?" The limbless man said, "I've never been hugged by anyone ever." So the woman, out of kindness, hugged the man. "Are you okay now?" she asked. "No," the man replied. So again the woman asked him what was wrong. He answered, "I've never been kissed before." The woman eagerly gave him a peck on the lips and asked, "Are you okay now?" The man shook his head sadly. The woman asked him what was wrong for the third time. The man said, "I've never been fucked." The woman looked at him, picks him up, throws him in the lake, and says, "Now you are!"
Guy it was so weird yesterday I saw a guy and he kept repeating the same thing over and over I hate people with dementia I told my mom to get a new mirror but she she won’t listen to me it’s almost like I sand it like 20 times every time I say it
A man died and went to heaven, everytime you cheat you get a worse car, the first man cheated 5 times he got a jeep, the second man cheat 3 times he got a BMW, the third man never cheated he got a Lamborghini, the second man saw the third man sad he said "why are you sad" the third man said "I saw my wife with a scooter".
bring out your weapons people. it's bullying time.
Sorry for your time today for a few minutes? We are cool but not the best.
2 times 4 equals 18
A man dies and goes to heaven. When he gets there, he sees an angel standing in the center of a room, surrounded by clocks. The man goes over to the angel and says, "What are these clocks for?" The angel looks at him. "These are lie clocks," the angel says, "every time someone lies, it ticks once. Mother Teresa never lied, so hers is at noon, and Honest Abe only lied twice." The man asks, "Where is Bill Clinton's clock?" The angel smiles, then points up at the fan.
if i had a dollar for every time you said something smart id be broke
Man with cancer: How much time do I have left? Doctor: Ten. Man: Weeks? Months? Days? Doctor Nine, eight, seven...
I was at work and then a little kid came up to me and she said “what happened to all the parents?” She sounded so confused so i told her “its only yours kid, they left you on purpose” she cried i felt bad for a second and the thought oh well time to back to my job at the orphanage
Your mum is so fat when I was driving I had to swerve to avoid by the time I had finished ✅ I had ran out of gas
Thank you so much for helping me get to 20 followers! I'm so happy, even time I look at my followers going up, it makes me so happy. I can't wait to keep posting other things on here! <3
after standing in line staring at mcdonalds menu for 17 minutes] me: ok im ready. can you help me not be sad all the time
They say the first time doesn't work third times the charm ha not
Every time I tell a 911 joke, it bombs.
