Throw jokes

What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you?

Pull the pin and throw it back.

Yo mama's so poor, the ducks throw bread at her.

What do you get when you throw holy water on a cow?

A holy cow!

I'm running out of degrees? I guess I better throw myself in fire to raise my internal temperature (measured in degrees).

Yo mama eat so much that she threw up a thousand times and said, "Help me, son!"

I’ll pat your breasts, pat your breasts, cos I’m a baker’s man, and you better bring me an orgasm as fast as you can. I’ll pat you, and prick you, and mark you with my "D", And then throw you in the fire cos you’re now worthless to me!

What is the difference between a school bus and a baseball?

You can throw a baseball, and you can’t throw a school bus.

I think I am a boomerang because I always come back to you.

What does a baby and a hand grenade have in common?

They both make noise when you throw them.

I threw a boomerang two years ago... I live in constant fear.

I throw a flashbang in a room full of epileptics...

They were shaking in excitement!

My sis told me that onions are the only food that can make you cry...

So I threw a coconut at her.

You know the difference between happy tailgaters and angry tailgaters?

Happy tailgaters know how to throw a party.

What do you say after you throw an egg at someone? "Yolks on you!"

I was wondering why the frisbee was getting bigger, then it hit me.

A guy cut me in the lunch line. After that, a rock was thrown at him by my friend.

What's meaner than taking candy from a baby?

Throwing the baby off a cliff.

If you're serious, congratulations on getting this far in life with absolutely no comprehension of reality.

If you had this kind of knowledge about driving a car, you'd be sitting 30 feet away from it, throwing pieces of pickles at a barn and shouting ‘shazam’ into an empty iPhone case, wondering why the car wasn't moving.

"Twins sitting in class."

Me: Casually throws a paper plane at them.

Who are the best at bowling?

Terrorists, they always throw strikes.