Throw jokes
A Russian, a Brit, and a terrorist are in an air balloon.
First, the Russian says, "I dare to throw a stone down!" So he does that, but the others don't seem to be impressed. So the Brit says, "I dare to throw a brick down!" So again he does that, the Russian is impressed, but the terrorist laughs and says, "I dare to throw a bomb down!" So he does that and everybody can't believe what they have just seen. So a bit further, they land, and a shocked and afraid little boy comes running up to them. So they ask what happened, on which the little boy said, "I farted and my school exploded."
If you're serious, congratulations on getting this far in life with absolutely no comprehension of reality.
If you had this kind of knowledge about driving a car, you'd be sitting 30 feet away from it, throwing pieces of pickles at a barn and shouting ‘shazam’ into an empty iPhone case, wondering why the car wasn't moving.
A drunk walks into a bar and sees a beautiful woman at the other end of the bar and says, "Bartender, I want to buy that douchebag a drink."
The bartender says, "You can't talk like that! This is a respectable establishment, I'm going to throw you out!"
The drunk says, "Okay, I'm sorry. I'd like to buy the lady a drink."
The bartender goes to where the woman is sitting and says, "The, ah, gentleman at the end of the bar would like to buy you a drink, what will it be?"
She says, "Vinegar and water."
How can you light up a candle in a ship which does not contain any instrument and you are alone with just a packet of candles?
Answer: Just throw one candle in the sea; the boat will become lighter.
What’s the first thing you should do if an epileptic is having a seizure in the bathtub?
Throw in your dirty laundry!
Why was the rapper bad at fishing?
Because he always threw back the lines!
What does a gas grenade and a baby have in common?
They both squeal when you throw them.
Why'd the rubber go flying across the room?
Because it got pissed off!
GUY 1: How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?
GUY 2: Depends on how hard you throw them.
How do you stop a baby from crying?
Throw a brick in its mouth.
What's better than throwing up a stillborn?
Making your wife eat it again.
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?"
The horse replies, "My wife just died of cancer, and my alcohol addiction is tearing my family apart."
The bartender responds, saying "Oh" sympathetically. "Sucks to be you!" the bartender yells, throwing a bottle of wine at the horse.
How do rappers stay cool during summer?
They throw SHADE.
What is the difference between a school bus and a baseball?
You can throw a baseball, and you can’t throw a school bus.
Why are lamps so scared? Because someone might throw them away.
I'm running out of degrees? I guess I better throw myself in fire to raise my internal temperature (measured in degrees).
I don't shut up, I grow up, and when I see you, I throw up.
At 5 years old, I already knew how to throw paper airplanes thanks to my Arabian relatives!
What happens when you throw water on Stephen Hawking?
He says, "Oh fuck fuck fuck!"
I'll pat your breasts, pat your breasts, cos I'm a baker's man, and you better bring me an orgasm as fast as you can. I'll pat you, and prick you, and mark you with my "D", And then throw you in the fire cos you're now worthless to me!