Throw Jokes

Me, holding a baby: "Oh my God, it's so cute!"

Also me: "Throw it."

How do Asian people name their children?

They throw a pan down the stairs.

What would your name be? Msg it to @chelsearosegraham.

Me and my friend have a friend that’s in a wheelchair but he is so annoying so whe throw him in a fire now we call him hot wheels

how do you paint a wall red? Throw a baby at it! (me like fortnite)

Police: Hey man, look at this! *throws cocaine at fan and it flew back into his face* Me: Are you okay? Police: Looks like I "crack"ed the case.

A three-panel comic strip shows two bald stick figures at work. In the first panel, one stick figure holds a frisbee, inviting the other to play after work. In the second panel, the second stick figure declines, saying he is super behind on work. In the third panel, the second stick figure suddenly gets angry after someone mentions playing, yelling that "now's not the time!"

I played catch with my friends, but they keep going to sleep when I throw it.

How do you throw a space party?

You plan-et! Hahahaha, get it?

My birthday's on September 11th, I'm gonna turn the fuck up and throw a banger! Then rub my tits in birthday cake frosting!!! WOOOOOOOOO!

I got fired from the bowling ball factory for throwing out the ones that had holes in them.

"Buy a man an airplane ticket, he will fly once. Throw a man off an airplane and he will fly for the rest of his life."

- Sun Tzu

Alright class, the person who answers my next question gets to go home.

Then a guy throws a pencil. The teacher asks, "Who threw that pencil?" "I did, I get to go home."

Luca’s Mom and Dad be throwing the kids into the fountain in the city, but they're sea monsters, so if they went to jail for that, they would be on death row anyway. 🤣

"Police control! Have you been drinking?"

"Go Pikachu! Thunder Clap!"

"Did you just throw a hamster at my head?"

Gently throw a baby off a ten story building!

Your hairline is so far back that not even Tom Brady could throw that far.

Did you know penguins can fly if you throw them hard enough? Just like children!

Repeat after me: shut up; shut up; I don’t shut up, I grow up, and when I look at you, I throw up. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Why should you never throw grandpa's false teeth at a vehicle? You might denture car.

Little Johnny and his mom were sitting in church one day when suddenly Johnny said, "Mom, I think I'm gonna throw up!"

Then his mom said, "Go across the field and into the bushes, hopefully no one will see you there."

Johnny comes back a minute later, and his mom asks, "Did you make it?" Then Johnny said, "No, but there was a box by the door that SAID 'For The Sick!'"