Throw jokes
What’s the difference between a cat and a dog? It’s easier to throw a cat against the wall.
Principal: “Why did you have to skip class? Because of that detention!”
Kid: “Whatever!”
Principal: “Why did you have to swear? Because of that one demerit!”
Kid: “Doesn't matter!”
Principal: “Why did you yell at a teacher and throw a chair at them? Because of that you're suspended!”
Kid: “Oh well!”
Principal: “Why did you have to push a kid down the stairs and kill them? Because of that you're expelled!”
Kid: “I'm trying not to kill myself!”
What do you get when you put a baby in a box of razor blades and throw it down the stairs?
An erection!
Dad: Why did Jimmy fall off his bicycle?
Son: Why?
Dad: Because somebody threw a washing machine at him.
One day I was jogging through the park and I saw this lady sitting next to a pond in a wheelchair with no legs and arms and said "Why are you crying" she said she had never been hugged I gave her a hug and jogged away.The next day i saw her again and asked her the same question she said "I've never been kissed" I gave her a kiss and went, The third day i asked her thrice and she said I've never been fucked I picked her up from her wheelchair and throwed her in the pond and said your fucked now She didn't make it:)
Throw the bed sheet or better yet, throw the entire bed out
One day, an orphan bought a boomerang. He threw it, and it didn’t come back.
Did you know penguins can fly if you throw them hard enough? Just like children!
I don't shut up, I grow up, and when I see you, I throw up.
How do Chinese people name their kids?
They throw a wok down the stairs.
An old man saw the TikTok trend of people throwing it back. The old man wanted to do it with his wife. The man set up everything needed and did the video. He threw it back first, then his wife, but instead of an old lady, it was ashes.
How are babies and the elderly similar?
They are both fun to throw out of moving cars.
"Buy a man an airplane ticket, he will fly once. Throw a man off an airplane and he will fly for the rest of his life."
- Sun Tzu
A man who drinks a lot is told by his wife that if he ever gets drunk again she will leave him.
Later, the man goes to a pub and drinks a lot and throws up all down his jacket. 'Oh no,' he says to his friend, 'if I go home like this again, my wife will leave me.' 'Don't worry,' his friend says. 'Put a £20 note in your jacket pocket. When your wife challenges you, produce the money and say another man threw up on you and gave you the £20 note for the dry cleaning.' 'Brilliant!' the man says and goes home. He walks through his front door and his wife sees him. She is furious. 'No no,' the man says, producing the money from his inside pocket. 'A man threw up on me and gave me £20 for the dry cleaning.' 'What's the other £20 note for?' asks his wife. 'Ah, that's from the man who shat in my pants.....'
I couldn’t quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.
My mates threw nuts at the wall, now we call them walnuts.
Hahaha :)
So Americans strongly worship Donald Trump, eh? Well, let's put that claim to the test by throwing him into the general population of Rikers Island.
The moment when you throw the nut away and try to eat the shell.
What do you call it when a snowman throws a tantrum?
A meltdown.
I chucked a lamp and a depressed kid, hoping it would brighten up his day.
What do Stephen Hawking and the Wicked Witch have in common?
If you throw water over them, they both die...