To everyone saying, "Don't joke about suicide, it's not even funny to laugh about people dying." Do you think we have it easy? Have you ever thought these jokes were helping us to cope? Mind your own business and don't make assumptions on people you know nothing about, please and thanks.
Yo mama so stupid she brought weed to the high way, Then sh realized im not stupid i was just high as a bitch she just got fucked so hard by her man she thought she was high.
My teacher:Oliver will be transitioning Me:tRaNsItIoNiNg!!!! My teacher:He will be transitioning from primary school to secondary school. Me:I thought you meant another transitioning...
This is NOT my joke i found it on google its a texting joke Mom:Son youre grandma just passed away LOL Son:mom what do you mean LOL that means laughing out loud Mom:oh no i thought that meant lots of love i have to text everyone back!!!!
About the guy who gave Stevie Wonder a cheese grater.... He thought it was the most violent book he'd ever read....
One night, I saw a woman sitting behind a dumpster. So I took her home. We talked all the way there. When we got home, I gave her a bath. Later on, things started getting passionate. We started doing intercourse, and some of the noises she made you would have thought she was still alive!
I thought today was going to be a good day when I woke up this morning. But then I got to the store and they said they were out of rope.
I was watching the local chief police in America, he said, "We will never forget 911." I thought, "I should hope not, it's your phone number."
there was once a jenie with a 10 foot weenie and he showed it to the neighbores next door they thought it was a snake and hit it with a rake now its only 6.4ft
The other day while I was going down on my grandma , I thought I tasted a little horse semen and I got to wondering if maybe that’s what killed her !!!!!
When they where going around giving out brains and U thought they where saying train so u said no thanx I’ll take the next one 🤣🤣
A police pulls over a Mexican man trying to get into America, The Mexican man come up with some sob story and the police say all right all right ok says the police. ill let you go if you can come up with a sentence that has the words green, pink, and yellow in it. The Mexicans thought about it long and hard for almost 45 minutes and then the police says ok ok let's hear it after waiting impatiently, the Mexican said ok ok don't rush me I'm ready. The Mexican replied ok when my phone green green, I pink it up and say Yellow !!!!
so i took a poop out side when i was done i wiped and got it on my finger after that i had nutella and i thought the poop on my hand was nutella and i licked it i said daddy chill what in the heck is this crap!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You know how in the movie nightmare before christmas they say making Christmas
I thought mary a josphe did but ok
When I was a child, my parents told me my uncle was 'sleeping with the fishes.' At first, I thought he bought a water bed, but I then discovered he was killed and buried at sea.
In 2013, it was reported that China has lost around 28,000 rivers; over half of what they thought existed. Some say climate change is the cause, others say it’s their harsh, economic expansion that’s unapologetic to the environment.
My theory is that those 28,000 rivers were sold to underground river-sex trafficking.
why did the kid go in the guys van
answer: he thought he was being adopted
When she saw her first strands of grey hair she thought she'd dye.
So, she went to see the "You Should Be Shot" - Photography Studio
me: "you wanna see my dad" some kid: "yeah?" me: "close your eyes and he will appear" some kid: "he ain't appearing" me: "sorry i thought he would appear for you. he won't appear for me" *the kid laughs"
moral: not everything is supposed to be funny text if you notice what was really going on 🙃
I saw a dwarf scaling down a prison wall. I thought to myself, "That's a little condescending."
