This jokes

You telling me Julius Caesar, who has been dead for well over 50 years, made this salad?

If I make you breakfast in bed, a simple 'thank you' is all I need.

Not all this 'How did you get in my house?' business.

Been single for a couple of years and then I met this Muslim girl. She soon put the spark back into things.

One time a blind person grabbed my arm thinking it was something else.

"Oh wow, this is such an interesting book!"

I used to date this girl only to find out she's a guy.

I guess you can say she had me in a trans.

Hillary Clinton lost last time to the first African American president, Barack Obama. Why will she lose this one to Donald Trump?

Because orange is the new black.

Haters are hating. I'm still alluring, but I couldn't give a fuck cus this site is dying and boring.

My girlfriend's sister told me to write her a poem. This is what I came up with:

roses are red, violets are blue, if you ever feel alone, I'm always watching you.

So my dad tells these jokes and someone posted one on this website so...

How many Polish people does it take to change a light bulb? 101, one to hold the light bulb and 100 to spin the house.

There’s also one about a bowling ball in a bath tub he hasn’t told me that though. I'll research that.

A Scouser at ground zero just after the twin towers fell asks a passer-by, "What time is it, mate?"

An American replies, "That's a mad accent, where are you from?"

The Scouser says, "Liverpool."

The American says, "Oh, what state is that in?"

The Scouser looks around and says, "About the same state as this, mate, but what time is it?"

I'll rate this a 9/11.

Hi guys, I just found this website. I got emailed by joshisboss or something. Have a great day! 👍

Ironic that this page is dead.

Fun fact: The max comments on a joke on this website is 1000! (LINK IN COMMENTS FOR PROOF)

Hey! This site has a home page, but I wonder if the orphans can see it.

This guy called anonymous said he's going to own me like he did my mum. Joke's on him, I have two dads.

Ring.. Ring.. Yes this is Dave from the Orphanage, "you make 'em we take 'em", how may I be of service?

Came across the headline this morning whilst reading the paper...

"Woman beats off Rapist in carpark!"

I suppose that was a fair compromise!

Q: What did the terrorist say during a plane flight? A: “Wow! This flight is the bomb!”

Dad: Ok kids, this selfie will just be me! *screen cracks*