This jokes

Yo momma is so dumb that she couldn't even get three words into this joke. Maybe that's why she gave it a thumb's down...

This will happen in your future, though, now because you're mean.

I made this one up myself just now.

Stephen Hawking would be a good pilot because the aircraft would be the first to take off and land in autopilot.

This dick ain't gon to suck itself.

<😏__ \ 👇 \ _/ 🍆\_

Hi, I'm new to this website, please follow.

An orphan goes to a family restaurant with her doll.

"I'm sorry but you can't be here," said the man. "This is a family restaurant." The orphan said, "This is my family," then pointed to her doll.

My friend's 4-year-old daughter made up this joke.

What kind of poo should you put in your hair?

Shampoo.

This joke is kinda offensive, but here you go.

What’s the longest joke of the year? Pride month.

Roses are red, I like burgers on a bun.

This news: family neuters furry son.

I will give you all the fine chicks you want. Just dial this number: 313-974- tap that ass from Hooters strip club.

Me: Says to kid at adoption center, "You're adopted!"

Me and kid: hug.

Thought this site needed a little bit of nice jokes.

Stormtrooper: My lord, what should we do with all this beef?

Palpatine: Stew it.

I was running away from expired grocery items with my friend, when I got out I noticed he was left for bread. I felt so guilty, he was toast. I'm not loafing this.

Read this:

Crack

What did you think of? A window crack or the drug?

A man gets arrested after writing "MORBID JOKES COMING OUT THIS TIME NEXT YEAR!" and "I'm gay!"

This is coming from an Indian btw and I find it very racist and it all stereotypes.

Jesus got rejected. A few years later he died. He came back just to lose his virginity because even Jesus is not a fucking cunt.

Get off this site and go have some sex, you fucking virgins.

A blind pilot walks into a plane waving his walking stick.

The passengers all look at each other in disbelief. The flight attendant gets on the PA and says,

"Ladies and gentlemen, as you can see, the captain is legally blind, but rest assured, he is one of the best pilots in the world with over six thousand successful flights."

Next the co-pilot makes his way to the plane, and he is also blind and uses his walking stick to make it to the cabin.

The flight attendant gets on the PA and says,

"Ladies and gentlemen, as you can see, the co-pilot is also blind, but rest assured, he is the second-best pilot in the world with over five thousand successful flights."

At this point, the plane begins to take off from the runway. As it gains speed, the passengers grow tenser. The plane keeps accelerating more and more, and as it approaches the end of the runway, it still hasn't left the ground. The plane is approaching the end of the runway at high speed, and the passengers scream, "Oh my God, we're all going to die!"

Suddenly, the plane takes off and begins its ascent.

The pilot turns to the co-pilot and says, "The day they stop screaming, we're screwed."

A guy is sitting in a bar, feeling sad. "What's the matter?" asks the bartender.

"My paternal uncle died three months ago."

"Wow! No wonder you're sad!"

"It's not that. He left me a third of his estate."

"Then what's the matter?"

"My maternal uncle died two months ago."

"Two uncles in two months? No wonder you're sad!"

"It's not that either. He left me half of his estate."

"Then what's the matter?"

"My father died last month."

"Your dad too? No wonder you're sad!"

"It's not that. He left me his entire estate."

"Then what's the matter?"

With a massive sob, the guy says, "None of my relatives died this month!"

Me: Ok so let's get this straight....

Cop: I'm not straight ok, now get in the car.

Me: But I didn't do anything?

Cop: No.

Me: So why are you arresting me then?

Cop: Imma tell you a story.

Me: Oh no.......

Cop: I know, now come on.

Me: Ok where?

Cop: My room.

Me: Which room?

Cop: My bedroom.

Me: 😱I'm a girl.

Cop: So am I, now get in.

Me: But I'm 9.

Cop: I'm 59.