This jokes

Took my receipt to the sperm bank so I can get this comeback.

The best joke. (This Form)

I hate school. I mean, why can't you pull out a 12 gauge and shoot everyone, including the teachers?! This generation is too soft, man.

If you're seeing this, this is your sign to go fuck yourself.

For my birthday on Sept. 11 this year, I just want a plane chocolate cake.

So a kid was hanging out with his mom and this man comes up to him and said, "Hi, I'm your new dad." The kid did not think about it, and then he did and said, "But I already have a dad." The mom said, "That was not your real dad."

This joke here is the worst.

This is how to die soft 101.

Yo bro, you good? You need a hug?

I was thinking about jelly this morning. It reminded me to take out the trash.

What did God say when he created the first black person?

"Behold, this specimen of divine integrity!"

Am I doing my work? Because typing this took lots of work.

Hi! It's the kid with another dark joke! On this episode: Orphans!

I was cussing out this kid for stealing, and their mom walked in and said, "Hey, language!" I just said, "English, bitch!"

If you're looking at this, then look behind you!

I was on a website doing homework, and there was this funny a** commercial banner saying: "Eat a bag of Dick's!" It was the funniest sh*t ever!

Global warming will kill every single person on this planet.

It's a good thing I'm married.

For all those Simpsons fans out there, this one I'm sure you know:

Abe: "It's rotten being old. No one listens to you."

Lisa: "It's awful being a kid. No one listens to you."

Homer: "I'm a white male, aged 18-49. Everyone listens to me--no matter how dumb my suggestions are."

Your loved one dies and you call the Coroner's office. They answer, "Hello, this is Benny from the Coroner's office, you stab 'em, we slab 'em, how may I be of service?"

You’re looking pretty rough this evening. You look like if sweatpants were a person.

Hope this is good!