This jokes

This morning, I was in the kitchen, and I saw a whole bunch of leftover brownies made from scratch. I just tasted one and spit it out because somebody put some goddamn weed in them, what the fuck!

At least 32 people hate orphan jokes.

And I thank all the people who participate in this protest.

"Korn Kob Kyle??? You know what this means!"

yikes...

#PlugWalk

This isn't a joke. My dad went to the shops for some bread 16 years ago. He still hasn't returned. Should I be worried yet? Or should I wait a year?

This is an a-maze-ing joke!

I might have to back down on this because it is usually aimed for little children.

You might find this joke a rib-tickler, but I sure do.

Chuck Norris is a genius for this: Walker Texas Ranger = Wrangler Karate Sex.

"Our teen has decreed we are the 'Worst Parents Ever.' We will hold our coronation ceremony to accept this honor next Friday. Invitations to follow."

This is not a joke. Stop online dating.

Had an amazing night with this girl, woke up, and it was my aunt. Now I’m in love.

"Banjo players spend half their lives tuning... and the other half out of tune."

I'm a banjo picker, and I can confirm this is 99% true.

What did the mechanic say to the other mechanic when he broke the car?

"How will we wrench ourselves out of this?"

"Hi, this is Stephanie. I was a little bit of a walk."

Evan, this is Mya, and your mom told me you were adopted, so we are done. Bye, don’t talk to me.

So, this kid told me what high school he was going to and asked me if I thought he would make it in.

I said, "No, they don't have double doors."

So, I was walking down the path of my life with Bigfoot, noticing the two pairs of footprints, mine and his.

One day, I notice his prints are gone. I look up to him and say, "You had promised you would always be there for me. How is this possible?"

He then looks me straight in the eyes and says, "Raw!"

You walk into an old, run-down house and you see that a light is on. You walk over to the light and you see blood all over the room, and you run to the exit to leave, but when you get to the door, somehow it is locked from the outside and you have no choice but to go into the house more. You see another room with a light on, so you go in. When you go in, "flip," all the lights go off, then you see a bright light and then a screen shows up and it says, "Let the game show begin." You see other people next to you and they seem scared, then a wall comes down, you see optical cords and you go on, and then a chainsaw comes at you and it misses you, but the other kid behind you gets hit and dies.

Part two coming soon. This is inspired by the SCP Foundation. Have a nice summer.

Couldn't believe how much of a bad mood my work mate was in this morning. So I decided to ask him what was the matter and if everything was OK with his wife, Flo.

He then broke down crying and said when he got home the night before, he caught his wife in bed with the plumber. I tried to console him as best as I could, but he just couldn't get over flow.

A fireman, a policeman, and a carpenter went on a fishing trip. The fireman and the policeman both have the same father but different mothers, and they are half-brothers. But the fireman and the carpenter have the same mother and father, but they are not brothers. How is this possible?

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