All my life I wanted to be somebody. I wanted to achieve something. Now, after messing up my life at every possible chance, I finally realize that what I really want is to have been someone after following through with one thing.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Today there was a big test for Little Timmy. During the test, Timmy had to take a really huge shit. So he rushed to the bathroom. He took a while in there. When he was done, he had realized there was no more toilet paper left. Since there was nothing around him to use, the only thing he could do was wipe with his hand. His time in the bathroom was up, and he needed to finish that test! He didn’t have time to wash his hands. So he hurried back. The problem was, the hand he wiped with was his right hand. He used his left hand to complete the test, which made him fail. When he got home, his mother was standing there crossing her arms. “Timmy, the teacher had called and said you wrote sloppy on your test. Why is that?” Timmy replied, “Oh, it’s because I caught a leprechaun with my right hand, but if I opened it my classmates would scare him away, so I had to use my left.” Timmy’s mother glared at him with disbelief. “Timmy, I don’t believe you. Now open your hand!” Timmy did so and opened his hand. “See, mother? I said you’d scare the shit out of him!”
Christopher and Tony were tempted for a beer but they only had 2 dollars each. Christopher got an idea and run away to the butcher and see if he got something good. He came back with a sausage. So they went to a pub and ordered 2 beers and 2 whiskeys. - Are you crazy?! Said Tony to Christopher. 'We don't have any money!' - Take it easy now, said Christopher. 'I have a plan.' When they finnished drink everything up christopher put the sausage through his own zipper and begged Tony to bend on his knees and take the sausage with his mouth. The bartender saw what they did and throw them out without even paying. So Christopher and Tony kept doing the same thing pub after pub after pub. After the 10th pub said Tony: I can't do this anymore. I am drunk and my knees are in too much pain to even handle the walk. - How do you think i feel? Said Christopher exhausted. ' I dropped the sausage in the 3th pub!'
I told a Seal a joke it went like "Why did the kid cross the playground" he said "why?" I said "To get to the other slide" and then he said "thats the sealiest thing Ive ever heard"
The CCP should be pleased, Covid is the longest thing to have ever been made in China.
Chenle: One time when i was younger, someone asked me how old i was and i forget. I had to Wikipedia my age to remember Jisung: This is the richest thing I've ever heard in my life.
I done a thing were we have chat hangouts with people that like gwen or just want to hang out do stuff.
All people are in vited
we have alot! Enjoy
what's the worst thing to happen to a japanese person in ww2...being drafted as a kamikaze pilot or existing with a fat man or little boy
me as a 5-year-old: how do you relate to the twin towers friend : what me: everytime I thing of them I feel sad
What’s the only positive thing about Freddie Mercury’s death? The HIV test results.
What is the best thing about being back Free bullets
Who remembers when Gwen was the only thing people talk about in this website
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
people have been telling me that you can get things for free now
the other day i saw a sign saying " FREE PALESTINE "
The last thing I said to my dog was Play dead
What do emo’s and ninjas both have in common... they both hide and cut things
my grand mother made her passage on the titanic. The ship was not the only thing that went down.
Why do orphans like stealiing things. They wanted to have copany
